There's an interesting opinion piece in the Times which seems relevant to this, by the way (behind a paywall):
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/labours-left-is-alone-in-sneering-at-the-flag-6zh53xx0d
One illuminating passage is this, and I think it helps to summarise the attitude I'm trying to express quite well.
// Patriotism is love of country and I am therefore a patriot. ...There aren’t many parts of the country I’ve not been to, and I know a fair amount about its history and am always happy to learn more. I feel fortunate to be British.
I detect in [Farage] a distaste for
modern Britain. The Britain they like, if it ever existed, disappeared half a century ago. ... They wave the flag of a country that doesn’t exist and celebrate a history that is sanitised and unreal.
What Labour has to do is to harness the flag and pride in the country to the values of real Britain. Modern Britain, for example, can cope with its real history.//
Emphasis added. The piece veers into politics, eg about how Labour is to define itself and what the writer thinks of Farage and UKIP/the far-right in general. But, setting that aside, I think it makes a similar point to the one I am making.