63 year old mother to be!

[kevb0444]

Hi..i saw on the news about a 63 year old child psychiatrist who already has 2 children, who is now pregnent through fertility treatment. I was wondering what peoples views are on this.

[chazza]

I think there should definitely be an age limit to IVF treatment - and it should be lower that 63! Maybe about 50 - 55

[sp1814]

I briefly read the story and my first thought was 'how is she going to cope with a 10 year old when she's 73?'

There is an age limit for IVF treatment in the UK and it's currently set at 50, however, this couple travelled abroad for treatment, where the rule doesn't apply.

Even for a 33 year old, coping with a new child is a stressful business...I hope they know what they're doing.

[sp1814]

However, at least she'll be able to pick up her pension and her child benefit in the same trip to the post office.

[CT]

I was think along the lines that she'll be in her eighties before the child is 18. Now that just sounds silly.

[jno]

I'm not sure why everyone finds this so godawful. We're hooked on the idea that parents ought to be young, if not necessarily of different genders... But in the past, with high mortality rates, or parents going off to run the Raj, it wasn't unusual for children to be brought up by grandparents, or sent off to boarding school, or raised in orphanages; it didn't necessarily leave them emotional cripples for the rest of their lives. If the child itself is born healthy (not always the case with older parents) I don't think we need to feel outrage on its behalf that older parents have been inflicted on it.

[redcrx]

I think that once a woman is past the average age of the menopause (not sure when that is, probably early 50s) then no assistance should be given. Before that then i dont see a problem if a woman cant fall pregnant but is fit and healthy.

OK she may well be a fit and healthy 63 year old and perfectly able to look after a child for the next 16 years but i still dont think that science should intervene at that age.

[libertie]

To be honest I can't really decide how I feel about it....on the one hand the physical demands of running around after a small child and then coping with a stroppy teenager fill me with dread, but on the other hand I'm sure they will be patient, loving and happy parents! Much has been said in these cases about it being unfair on the children...parents are likely to be ill and maybe die while the child is young etc etc...but that can happen (and does) to children of any age! Can I also add that seeing the parenting skills...or more accurately, lack of...of some so called parents age has very little to do with it!!

[youngmafbog]

To quote the simpsons "Wont somebody lpease think of the children"

Idiotic and selfish if yo uask me.

[SteveSxx]

If her present kids have kids - then they will be older than the new child - and could have kids of their own who are older than the new kid - makes you think doesn't it ?

[Pippa68]

I have always had the same view as redcrx. However there are some poor souls who have the menopause very early, so there has to be another rule for them..plenty of women get pregnant whilst going through the early stages of menopause, or just before, and they are into their 50's.

Of course we are talking about scientific intervention ~ the ethics committees really ought to look at this seriously. A 60 year old woman has gone through the menopause for a reason..she shouldn't really be having babies IMO. Yes, think of the child!!

[loobie]

There was a programme on a while back about older parents. Most of them weren't too old but the one that sticks in my brain is the 10 year old boy whose mum was in her late 50's and his dad in his 70's. Not only was he old but he'd also had a stroke. Watching this boy he seemed to be not only embarrassed by his mum and dad in public but also seemed extremely miserable.

They're most exciting day out was to Blackpool Pleasure Beach and all his parents could go on was the teapots. At that age his parents should be taking him to Alton Towers, Chessington etc and having fun on the rides with their son. Unfortunately they were too old to do this. And that's why I think it is selfish to have children at an old age.

[noxlumos]

why can't you go to Alton Towers just because you are in your 50's , 60's , 70's? My mother -in-law came with us ( she's 67) and went on absolutely everything, running between the rides with the kids to get there quicker. Depends on how physically old you feel and the condition you are in, not just your numerical age and personally I don't find it that odd. Lots of 60 somethings look and act 40 and I don't see that kids automatically suffer with older parents, just depends on the individuals.

[loobie]

Noxlumos,

I know everyone has different abilities but I was going by the poor boy i saw. Looking at the couple who are in the news at the moment, they both look quite young for their age and I'm sure they will be fantastic parents. i just hope they continue to be healthy and don't get tired too quickly cause they will need all their energy for the little one!! My mum gets worn out by nephew after a day and she's 50!!! In fact he wears me out too and I'm only 23. I do admire them for being brave enough to go through it all again. I do just hope that they live for a long time so that this child doesn't have to lose it's parents at a young age (and i know we all could die at an early age)

[redcrx]

Pippa, thats why i said the average age for menopause. Im aware that some young women go through it very early and this shouldnt mean they are denyed the chance of being mothers. IMO they should get help with conceiving. I just think that once they reach 50-55 then if they cant conceive naturally that medicine shouldnt step in at that time.

[andy-hughes]

Nature phases out natural childbirth for a reason. Parents need considerable resiliance to deal with a baby, and a growing child, including adolesence!

I personally believe that childbirth is not a right, it's a gift, and for some people, it is simply not meant to be, for what may be sound biological reasons.

I always feel that there is an element of self-interest in older parents who circumvent the natural way of things. As a grandad to a lively ten-year-old girl and an even livlier sixteen-month-old boy, I am very glad that I am not 'starting again' - and I'm only 51!

[kevb0444]

Hi..thanks for the answers so far. Plenty of opinions i see. Personaly don't see why see wants to put herself and her unborn child through this. The fact she has already got 2 healthy children seems strange. I could understand if she has never been able to have kids for what ever reason...but it somehow doesn't seem right. You go through the menopause for a reason (and yes i know some people start very early) I think there needs to be tighter guid lines to fertility treatment here and abroard. Just because we can doesn't meen we should.

[newtron]

I don't see the problem. A mature experienced mom who really wants a kid (She went through a lot of trouble) -- she'll probably make a better mom than most teenagers who accidentally get pregnant and do not have the means to raise a child properly. Of course it ultimately depends on the individual.

[Pippa68]

redcrx I was agreeing with you :o) however, if an ethics committee was to say 'no menopausal women' it seems they would have to include the younger ones as well..something to do with 'drawing a line'!

I guess this is why we are having this conversation ~ how can we leave one set of people out & not another?

[alba_26]

My youngest sister was born when my (irresponsible) parents were 45 and 52. My other sister and I were 18 and 19. They both found it far more difficult physically, they also feel completely out of touch with her generation, something they did not experience with us. She has been teased at school about having older parents. She is now a teenager but still worries what will happen to her if something happens to Mum and Dad. We are a strong family unit, but it has been hard. I wonder how her grown up children feel about this, as I would assume that if anything happens to the parents they will assume guardianship.

From my experience I can't believe that a child psychiatrist does not seem to fully understand the psychological implications for the child. I think this is incredibly selfish on the part of the parents. The moral implications about IVF after the menopause also concern me and what are the long term implications of this hormone treatment on the mother?

[sandbach99]

Given her profession I can't help thinking that in a few years there will be a book regarding children being reared by Grand or Great Grandparents.
Children can be very cruel imagine the teasing/bullying this child will have to put up with due to his parents age.

Although the parents seem young at heart I wonder how much they understand and know about the new technologies that are around now that the child will need to understand, I know I am totally at a loss and I am not quite as old as she is.