Should this have taken place?

[anotheoldgit]

Witnessing the one minute of clapping, by parents, staff and children, in respect for the young lad who was shot in Liverpool, does anyone think that this is taking things a little too far?

Should not these occasions take place in assembly, within the schools walls, instead of in the full glare of the television cameras?

Tomorrow the TV cameras will be on hand to record the funeral of this poor lad, and to capture the grief on the faces of the mourners. This can't be right, can it? Please tell me.

[China Doll]

Normally I'd agree with you AOG. I always thought grief was supposed to be a private thing. I'd also hate to have a camera recording my every emotion as some sort of evening news titilation. It doesn't seem very dignified to me.

However... perhaps they're hoping this might go some way to helping catch the killers and/or raising the profile of gun crime in the area. In which case I guess that's the call of the parents. Although to my mind I think that would still be the wrong thing to do for the right reasons if you see what I mean?

[Ethel]

I don't think it's right. The media is far too intrusive, but is that in response to the publics' need to steal grief that doesn't belong to them?

I really do think some people cannot differentiate between real life and soap operas.

I am quite taken aback at some of the replies on this site, as an example. Somebody posts a question about their sick or dead pet, and a total stranger will say they are crying for them. Why?

That doesn't help the poster, who simply needs a straightforward answer to their question about pet funerals or vets fees.

As a nation we seem to revel in other peoples grief. It is quite sickening.

[flipnflap]

I believe this is a good example of the extent to which too many people, particularly in the UK, are obsessed with fame / being in the spotlight. They care little that this is a tragedy; they see this as an opportunity to be noticed, talked about, etc. Far too often you hear people saying things like 'I know someone who knows the guy who...' Who cares...except those desperados? Of course moments like this school's should have been conducted behind closed doors. I bet nearly all of those involved were looking out for themselves whenever it was broadcast, telling mates to watch, etc. And why clap when someone's died? Fame culture is way out of control

[Pippa68]

I agree with the others ~ and CD kind of explains how I feel about it too.

Not much help am I?

[weeal]

I think its weird too but then I dont even like to see masses of flowers by a roadside where someone has died, its kinda morbid in a way

[dot.hawkes]

well it is a very personal thing and we all react differently, i have never felt the need to put flowers at the roadside after an accident until last sunday afternoon, and then i found myself sobbing in absolute grief as my son tied our bouquets to the lamppost, until it happens to you you will never know how you react.

[Pippa68]

They have banned bouquets from the side of the road in certain areas around here, Dotty.

Apparently they have become a distraction and have caused accidents. Talk about ironic..

Hope everyone is bearing up at Chez Dot xx

[dot.hawkes]

it's a day to day thing pippa, cheers.
the traffoc cop gave his mum a cardboard laminated plaque that is especially made to use at the scene of a fatal RTA, it is laminated to add the name of the loved one,. very moving.

[tiny e.a]

I agree that often people being interviewed are doing it just so they can say they have done, that they were on TV when that little lad got shot. The actual journalists are just as bad though, I work in a youth centre near the area and we have had phonecalls from news stations asking for an interview. The people who rum the centre have refused because what could we say?We didn't know the boy, we couldn't support the family in any way. We could say how sorry we are but you could ask anyone in the street and they would say the same, and apparently that's all newsrooms want, the comment of a stranger in the street who are only too happy to get there face seen.

As for the public clapping at the memorial services, I think people are doing it as an act of defiance against those responsible, trying to show that they are a minority and that the community at large are behind the victim and his family. I think the belief is that such a united public display of support, including at the Liverpool match, will be a slap in the face for the criminals responsible. Obviously not as much as catching them and punishing them, but this is all the community can do thus far so I say let them do it.

[happyjo]

Hi

All the attention that Rhys' murder has gained is with permission from his family I am sure. Keeping his name in the public eye is a possible way to flush out the scumbag who shot him.

I know Rhys' dad, I used to work with him some years ago. I think they are a decent family who do not want their sons death to be just another gun crime statistic.

J

[NJOK]

If this was done against the will of the family, I'd agree with you. But it's not. They were involved in the minute's applause at Everton and Liverpool maches and have chosen to take a public line in this tragedy.

Besides, I don't think it's out of order for a grieving family to want the world to grieve with them, and for their son's memory to burn as brightly as possible.

Others would rather do that in private. Fair do's. But there's no right or wrong way. Whatever makes them feel better, I say.

Please don't let this be like the McCanns all over again. Let people react how they want to react. It's very easy to sit on the outside and pontificate about the proper way to 'cope', but we really should have better things to do.

[anotheoldgit]

I think everyone who has posted on this question have given the subject plenty of thought, and it is so refreshing that they have answered in a most caring and thought provoking way.

Thanks to everyone who spent their time and thoughts in such a reponsible way.