Like we haven't got enough Northerners down here already (most of them, from what I've heard, seem to work on the radio).
"move south and have to learn another language."
Yes, TH. It's called English. Still, I'm sure that Southern colleges will soon be running courses in Conversational Northern for us, so we can understand your quaint gruntings. ;-)
"Apples and pears, 2 and 8"
Ah, of course. Cockney rhyming slang. Yes, we all speak that down here, from Kent to Cornwall, from Gloucestershire to Suffolk. Because Laaaaahhhhhndon, you see, is just so completely representative of the whole of the South. No, really it is. That's why BBC "journalists" do comparisons between the North and the South by taking surveys of the whole of the North...and London. It speaks for us all. We're all so jealous of Londoners, with their congestion charge and their snotty attitudes and their almost daily stabbings. Jammy gits.
Ecky thump, monkeh.