But Kromovaracun, can you actually tell whether someone means it? If someone calls 'Hey *******', can you actually be sure the smile on his face means he's not about to kick you anyway? And if it's just alerted bystanders, who wouldn't otherwise have known, to your sexuality, is that always going to be a good thing?
I know people don't always mean what they say, but to my way of thinking, using the language of homophobia is never going to be a good thing (the exception would be the one you cited: between gays who are comfortable with each other). You may know, or think you know, when Clarkson is joking. Does everyone?