Daily Mail headline generator

[Kromovaracun]

http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

Only vaguely news-related but I found it quite funny.

My favourites include:

WILL YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL GIVE YOUR CHILDREN CANCER?

HAVE LESBIANS HAD SEX WITH YOUR PETS?

COULD CHAVS KILL HOUSE PRICES?

WILL THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT INFECT YOU WITH AIDS?

And it goes on...

Enjoy.

[squarebear]

will single mothers give you swine flu?

could alistair darling have sex with the countryside?

will the germans impregnate the british people?

hehe!

[jake-the-peg]

On a similar theme the Daily Mail Oncological project.

(what the DM says gives you or protects you from cancer)

Apparently Coffee's on both lists

http://thedailymailoncologicalontologyproject. wordpress.com/

Facebook gives you cancer! best stick to AB

[rov1200]

"HAVE LESBIANS HAD SEX WITH YOUR PETS?"

I have often wondered how humans first contacted HIV just 40 years ago. At that time it was prevalent in the chimp population in Africa. Need I say more?

[jake-the-peg]

Yes Rov I think you should.

Especially bearing in ming the habbit of people in that area killing and eating apes as "bush meat" and therefore coming into contact with infected blood that could easilly infect through an open wound.

Or is that a less attractive theory, lacking as it does sexual and potentially racial overtones?

[sp1814]

rov1200

Yes...you do need to say more.

Actually, the only person I've ever seen getting it on with a monkey was Bo Derek in the remake of Tarzan The Ape Man in 1981.

[sp1814]

JTP

Spooky...didn't see your response before sending mine.

[VHG]

That web site is useless.

I generated about 10 headlines and not once were the words "asylum seeker" or "illegal immigrant" included in a headline.

Surely the Mail have those words in their headlines at least once a week.

[sp1814]

VHG

To be more accurate, the list is (in no particular order):

1. Yardie
2. Muslim
3. Asylum seeker
4. Paedophile
5. Rights
6. EU
7. Traveller
8. Why?
9. Illegal immigrant
10. Hard-working families
11. Children
12. Gay
13. Outrage
14. Horror
15. Politically correct

In fact, studies have shown that all you need to do is buy the Mail on January 2nd each year, cut up all the stories and rearrange the words in a slightly difference order, and you pretty much don't have to buy it again until January 2nd the following year.