Home Alone

[B00]

Words sometimes fail even me

http://news.bbc.co.uk...ancashire/8362815.stm

Had tears in my eyes when I read this paragraph...

"The four-year-old girl had tried to feed the baby by using chairs to climb up to a kitchen cupboard and reach a tin of milk powder."

Then it goes on to say that she found life "extremely stressful" partly due (I assume?) to having 4 children by 3 different fathers......

[daffy654]

The woman in the story should be judged purely for her crime,not for her children having different dads or the fact she may have lived on a council estate,that is the point I am trying to make.

[Sqad]

daffy....let me define."sqad's perfect little world"

Born a Little Bustard, taken away at birth from my biological mother, introduced to her when I was 16years old, never met my father.

Brought up on a council estate, scholarship to a Grammar school and then to Medical School, had the p1ss taken out of me by the local layabouts............and I do not feel underprivileged in any way.............I feel privileged to have had this life of mine.

[B00]

Again agree Daffy, but I'm willing to bet that when most people heard/read about this case they weren't surpised that she'd has children in quick succession by different dads, I know I wasn't.

[daffy654]

I was on occasion returned to live with my mother (between the age of 3 months and 16 years) Sqad and can honestly say I was much better off and happier in care....despite the fact I suffered serious bullying and abuse and tried to kill myself at age 13.
I know from personal experience that not all mothers are naturally maternal and any good at parenthood.I do however feel that most young,single mothers should be given a chance to prove they can do the right thing by their children,there are exceptions of course.

[Sqad]

Zeuhl.........LOL.....interesting question which I will try to answer.

My biological mother expected me to accept her as my mother which I couldn't do. I tried to explain to her that arriving with a plaque around her neck stating "Mother" just did not work.

I admired her for the emotional trauma, that she must have gone through handing over her baby, but subsequently she had two other children. After we met, she suffered more than I did emotionally, as my mother was the person that had brought me up.

I didn't really work at it, as it was not that important to me, but Mrs sqad had words with me to the effect that I should make an effort for my maternal mother's sake and this I did.
I don't think that I made a particularly good job of it, as most of the ABers will testify I am not that sort of bloke.

I gather from other people that she was extremely proud of me and I admired her as a person rather than my mother.

She died 2years ago and I didn't (couldn't ) grieve.

I hope this has helped Zeuhl.

[Sqad]

Zeuhl......I think so.

[sp1814]

I would just like to make this point - It's possible that this girl thought that each of the new relationships she entered into was going to be 'the one'.

No-one can predict what's going to happen in a relationship...but on the other hand...to have so many kids by so many different dads is really, really dim.

Oh, and another thing - whenever you read about women with multiple kids by different dads, no criticism seems to be levelled at the blokes who run around spraying sperm indeterminately at any woman who stops moving for five minutes.

There SHOULD be.

[naomi24]

Yes, you're right SP, there should be, but women should also take responsibility for themselves.

[jno]

dead right, sp1814. My heart goes out to the kids - but how come it was just the mother in the dock? Where WERE the three fathers? Sounds like they abandoned the kids far more permanently - so they get away with it.

[Sqad]

sp/naomi/jno

I take your point, but if a girl is going to "drop her knickers" at the drop of her hat to any bloke, then a fellow will take his chances.

Women are divided into 2 groups.

A) one's that do

b) ones that don't

Do you think that there are many blokes who are going to take seriously the ones that are in group A ?

My guess that if all the blokes who had intercourse with our friend were in court, it would be as packed as Wembley Stadium on Cup Final Day.

[jno]

so why should the mothers take all the responsibility for their actions when the fathers don't, sqad? Why is it okay for men to take their chances but wrong for women to drop their knickers? So much for sexual equality, eh?

And why exactly is it wrong for mothers to walk out for a day but fine for fathers to walk out forever?

[Sqad]

jno....it's called Biology and women know this.

A butterfly can flutter from flower to flower, but a flower can't flutter from butterfly to butterfly.

If women are prepared to drop their knickers for anybody, then they should take the ultimate responsibility.

A male lion will spend the best part of his life impregnating females and the females will do a good job looking after their offspring. Seems that humans haven't learnt that yet.

[Booldawg]

As 'Fathers For Justice' would testify there are plenty of decent, responsible Fathers who have little or no access to their children through no fault of there own. In a marital break-up or access rights case the court will vehemently back the mother often regardless to her suitability for the role.

[B00]

Booldawg, you're totally correct, we always assume the mother is better at caring and rearing children, and all too sadly, we see instances where this is not the case.

Re- the dads in this case...we're assuming she actually knows who they are?

[ummmm]

It's shocking. I remember running to the shop when my baby was asleep in her cot (30secs away) The panic I felt doing it was unbelievable....how someone could leave 1 baby let alone 4 is beyond me....

[Androcles]

I know she abondoned them, but was she in any better state to look after them after consuming a bottle of wine, cider and cocaine?

Totally irresponsible and uncaring- she should have been sent down for these alone!

[B00]

yep Androcles agree, why couldn't they charge her with taking drugs then instead or as well as?

I'm still saddened that none of the people she was with, the ones in her house and who went to a house party with her, thought it was problem her buggering off and leaving her children alone.

[B00]

And yes ummmm, I still suffer panic attacks over it too.

we have a corner shop which is literally 5 doors away, and occasionally i'll run to it to get milk etc, leaving my 4 yr old watching TV, im gone no more than what...2 minutes and i dont half gallop back!