Are we lonelier today ?

[olddutch]

The Times today says “Technology and the pressures of modern life are today blamed for creating an epidemic of loneliness…The findings, from a survey of more than 2,200 adults from across Britain, suggest loneliness affects people of all ages……Human beings are social animals, and we’ve evolved to live in extended family groups. If we’re not in a group like that we begin to feel anxious, depressed and begin to find it increasingly difficult to regulate our own behaviour.” Overall, the survey found that nearly half (48 per cent) of respondents think that people are becoming increasingly isolated and detached from each other.

While the internet has changed the way people communicate, some experts argue that social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter undermine social skills and the ability to read body language says the charity’s report. The report also says it is too early to say whether technology is changing our core ability to relate to others, but [it is] “soon enough to conclude that technology is no substitute for the human interaction that it is a buffer against loneliness.”


Do social network sites make us lonelier or more social creatures ?

Does Answerbank connect us more - or disconnect us to some degree - from the "real world" ?

[Gromit]

I suppose as in anything in life, the trick is to do everything in moderation. If we did not have technloloy and we could not interact at our whim with the Answerbank family, then our world would be diminished. Then again, if we had no real friends, and our daily highlight was AOGs missives, then one probably would be a sad and lonely individual.

[Greedyfly]

I must admit I am quite a lonely person. I have my partner who I live with and he has a social circle we see every now and then but aside from that I have no real friends. The only really contact I have with ex work colleagues or people I know is via Facebook. It sounds damn depressing. I have noticed more of late how isolated I am actually considering I am fairly young. But I would not say the social networking has done the isolating - without it I would be even lonelier.

I think social networking has just plugged a gap in our very busy lives. Maybe it does cause social interaction problems with yuonger people - I don't know, but without it I would be worse off for sure.

[tamborine]

not lonely but more isolated in front of our PCs

[Davethedog]

I have never seen how the internet makes us more sociable yes you connect with more people, but you have no idea who they are or indeed what they are.

I think the internet makes people feel safer, but thats because the media would make you believe that every other person on the planet wishes you bad.

The nanny state means that men can no longer just chat up a girl, try it in the work place and you risk dismissal. Try it in ceratin social situations and you may become a paraiah.

Oh and advertising is turning chaps into effeminate wimps.

So they hide behind thier computers and become more distanced from social society and the more they are withdrawn the less they know how to interact.

[Greedyfly]

But the internet is good for keeping in contact with all the people you know who are not where you are. For example from my last job I have quite a few colleagues who now live in London/Australia/U.S.A - the best way for me to keep in contact with them is via Facebook etc... I do not have a single person in my Facebook 'friends' who are not people I know personally.

[rowanwitch]

I think it's true that people are more isolated we can have a thousand virtual friends but no deep relationships, we don't always know our neighbours and children play games with each other but in separate houses, towns, continents text speak blunts the delicacy of language and an emoticon replaced the smile.... the moderating effect of the extended family on behaviour does seem to have lessened and yes I think the almost epidemic of depression is due in part to people not having a close network to support them through difficult spells... we are shown images of ideal lives but they are dotted about with shows that allow us to feel 'we are not that bad' (jeremy Kyle and others of that ilk ) People have rights but can't accept they have responsibilites especially to others,,,

I don't think loneliness was such a problem when i was younger.. I never expected to feel lonely in a climate of constant interaction .....

Answerbank is probably better than some sites, as it it seems generally supportive and constructive.... like a big slightly eccentric family most of its members seem to like each other... there are enough black sheep to make things interesting and it seems members will put themselves out if there is a genuine need... And like a family rows and feuds break out... I wish my real family was as big and as interesting..

[Davethedog]

Greedy 100% agree but you have already socialy interacted with them ITRW

[tamborine]

You're right Dave....am out of snyc with most of my peers & have little in common with them. In fact, I turned to the PC after suffering years of 'the best offers' in s'markets from my weekly golfing friends.

[Davethedog]

Not sure of the point - I take it your ripping me fair enough.

But I think its valid and getting worse, though if it was wholesale the pubs would be empty.

[olddutch]

Some interesting answers, thanks

I dont do Facebook and virtually no Twitter - but do spend more time behind the mask of Olddutch where I feel I can more comfortably ask questions and even attempt answers - does the "Mask" intensify the loneliness or enable better communication or both ?

I feel masked communication helps me communicate with other masks more easily and satisfyingly - but at the same time I am conscious masked exchanges dont decrease loneliness or isolation.

Any thoughts on "masked" communication ?

[Seadragon]

This question does sprout many legs! - technology being responsible for growing loneliness? hmm, 'if we not in a group...we feel anxious, depressed...difficult to regulate our own behaviour.' hmm - I disagree with that one. There's alot to think about here.

I do agree with Gromit that to maintain a healthy lifestyle it is all about moderation. But I also 'don't do' Facebook, twitter or any other supposedly interactive website. Actually I don't like the social internet. Answerbank is my only vice really. I think it can work both ways, if one is a generally healthy secure person then one can find enjoyment from some social website interaction.

Same applies for the connection to the real world. I can take what people say and learn about another point of view which may advance my views in the real world or certaintly provide another perspective.

I think masked communication is good in breaking down inherent prejudices. For example a person may discover that someone they consider to be middle class oxford educated is really a mostly self-educated benefit layabout who you wouldn't have given a second thought to if you came across them in real life.

[anotheoldgit]

/// Any thoughts on "masked" communication ? ///

Yes there are some on here who hide behind a mask, because outside in the real world they would not make friends easily.

These are very sad and cowardly individuals who have only their obsession of trying at every possible opportunity to belittle certain members of AB, for no apparent reason, other than to try and brighten their otherwise sad little lives..

/// Then again, if we had no real friends, and our daily highlight was AOGs missives, then one probably would be a sad and lonely individual. ///

These are the actual words of one of these self confessed sad and lonely individuals

[Quinlad]

Everyone on here hides behind a mask. Those that don't can post their names and addresses below.

[Seadragon]

I don't think it's about hiding behind a mask - I think it's a different form of communication - so the written word is at the forefront as it should be and quite powerful without the visual make-up of the person.

Personally I like the anonymity because although these social sites are accessible at home it doesn't mean you want to make friends and thus can communicate or leave opinions without the sometimes hassle of real friendships.

[Seadragon]

And I would like to add to that - a person shouldn't give their name or address to people they don't know, after all anyone could be anyone - safety.

[DrFilth]

quinlad

site terms of use

8. You agree not to disclose any personal information (e.g. full name, address, phone number) either about yourself or any other individual(s) when making any posting or contribution to The AnswerBank.

[olddutch]

"Personally I like the anonymity because although these social sites are accessible at home it doesn't mean you want to make friends and thus can communicate or leave opinions without the sometimes hassle of real friendships"

nicely put seadragon - akin to my point of feeling more comfortable with it - but you have articulated it a good deal better.

when blood is spilled on AB - no real blood is spilled between avatars - whereas in the real world expressing our opinions in the full-on open fashion that many of us do on AB could result not only in more depression,loneliness and distress but even in physical damage. Perhaps the use of masks in AB exchanges are cathartic therapeutic for some of us.

[poodicat]

You been reading the daily mail dutch?

[DrFilth]

and nobody gets put through the pub window :)

[olddutch]

poodicat "You been reading the daily mail dutch?"

No - whats new poodicat !