What would you do in that position?

[anotheoldgit]

http://tinyurl.com/5sdfujz

This story just will not go away, not that it should do if more lessons are to be learned from it.

It was inevitable though that some of the victims would be selling their story to the tabloids.

/// Toni-Marie was living at the time with her grandparents because her mother, Wendy, had remarried. When she told them about her new boyfriend, they were immediately worried.///

/// The couple — Christine, a former grammar school pupil, and Christopher, a retired builder — thought he was too old for their granddaughter. But they were afraid if they stopped her seeing him, she might leave home and run away with him or even convert to Islam and disappear from her family.///

Reading this, a question I would like to ask, and it is one that must be haunting the families of white girls throughout the country.

If one's daughter came home with an Asian boyfriend, in light of these vastly publicised cases, would one be classed as racist if one discouraged or even forbid the partnership?

[Whickerman]

It would naturally be a worry, but as the father of a daughter I can tell you it's a huge worry who she's seeing regardless of race, creed or status. It is definitely a balancing act between being over-protective and allowing them to grow up

[DTCwordfan]

agree with the two previous posts - you have to trust their judgement. Just because she is going out with someone who is Jewish, Taoist, Bhuddist, Sikh or Muslim is no worse than some of the supposedly Christian scum around. This is the pay-off time for trying to bring them up safely and sanely.

As to the tone of your thread, I would also say that with the boot on the other foot, they will think the same way. And we are talking about the majority as pixi stated.


So, in conclusion, if he was a really nice, sane young man and they fall in love, I would be delighted for them.

[anotheoldgit]

Thank you for your answers so far, but i haven't any hidden agenda here eg.(As to the tone of your thread)

As already said it must be a worry who one's daughter or even son brings home, but that is getting away from the questions highlighted in this report.

I did not purposely point out the fact that the men were predominately Asian and that the majority of the girls were white, .for any hidden alternative motive.

I could have asked why do Muslim families frown on their children if they wish to marry out of their faith, or why do Asian families frown on their children if they wish to marry out of their caste, or why do Jews frown on their children if they wish to marry non Jews? (I am not sure about this one but I had to add it, before someone cottened on to the fact that I was only referring to Asians families)

All these facts have nothing to do with my question, all I asked in light of this story, how would one accept their daughter getting into a relationship with an Asian man?

Obviously as some have already stated all Asian men are not the same, that is obvious, not all men are the same no matter no matter what colour, religion, or race.

But I will ask it again in light of the news report. "What would you do in that position"? living in those areas, and taking into account the fact that appearances don't always show the real person.

[Whickerman]

I'm honestly sure that many/most devout Islamic families would be horrified if their children married outside their religion, but I also agree that this is the same for Jewish families. ALso for devoutly Catholic/Presbyterian/Jehovah's Witness etc etc

I would have to admit that this case/these cases would indeed make me much more suspicious if my daughter brought home an older man. THat's normal human nature though.

I see Eastenders are about to write this into the storyline...?

[rov1100]

I have a close relative girl of 18 who has been seeing an Asian man. He treats her like sh*t. She doesn't seem to mind and this generation have been brought up in a multicultural society. We explained to her that if she kept being treated this way she would gain no respect. We advised her to play more hard to get and not just roll over which we hope she has taken in. Because this generation hardly listens to the news they are completely unaware of what is going on out there. We can only but try but it will probably be disregarded.

[boxtops]

Members of my family have dated men from other cultures, and it's all been fine. IMO the biggest caveat is to remind the girls that they can't assume that the families of the date (and hence the date too) may look at issues and behaviour in the same way that we do. The girls need to be culturally aware. The parents in our families were concerned until they saw that the lads/men were treating the girls well.
As has been said, this is an issue for all parents, I know my own were climbing the wall when I started dating, in case the boys I dated were up to no good.