Food for thought.

CailinDeas | 22:23 Mon 30th Jul 2012 | Jokes

8 Answers

>
> 1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
> was God and I didn't.
> 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every damn minute of it.
> 3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
> 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
> 5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
> 6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
>
> 7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
> 8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>
> 9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
> 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
> 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning
> medicine.
> 12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
> 13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
> 14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
> 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
> 16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
> 17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
> 18. Procrastinate Now!
> 19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
> 20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
> 21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
> 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
> 23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
> 24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
> 25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
> times the memory.
> 26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
> for a pig. (how true)
>
> 27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
> 28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
> 29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
>
> Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life
> is too short and friends are too few!