You Can't Beat The Old Remedies.
Once upon a time there was a certain Bournemouth lady who was getting on in years, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The local vicar came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, ( That's a musical instrument ) the young vicar noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely this Bournemouth Belle had flipped or something...! But he certainly couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor. When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat.
The vicar tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer. "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking down to the shops last year and I found this little package. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know...I haven't had a cold all winter.