Wisdom From Seniors

[marval]

When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop digging.

I tried to get a life once, but they told me they were out of stock.

I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway though.

It was so different before everything changed.

Some day's you're the dog, and some day's you're the hydrant.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause
kids.

It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a trip around the sun.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.

Never knock on death's door, ring the bell and run (he hates that).

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else
decide to play chess?

If you are living on the edge, make sure your wearing your seatbelt.

There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick and the dead.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Its not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

[heatherglen]

Hi marval,
Love it.
You may enjoy this one.
ZIMMERTIME

(sung to the tune of Summertime & the Living Ain’t easy)


ZIMMER TIME AND THE WALKING
AIN’T EASY
HEART IS POUNDING AND THE BLOOD
PRESSURE’S HIGH
YOUR HEARING AID’S DEAD, AND YOUR
PACEMAKER’S FAILING
BUT HUSH NOW, OLD TIMER,
DON’T YOU CRY.
ONE OF THESE DAYS, YOU’RE GONNA
WAKE UP MOANING,
TURN UP YOUR TOES AND
TAKE TO THE SKY.
BUT TILL THAT MORNING, ZIMMER
DOWN TO THE JAZZ CLUB
AND DRINK ALL THE GOOD BOOZE THAT
YOUR PENSION WILL BUY.

[marval]

Thanks heatherglen

[starone]

Had a really good laugh at this lot marval especially the never knock on death's door and lead me not into temptation ones. Must try to remember some of them for future use.