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Has Anyone Here Ever Made Up Their Own Joke?

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Fatlegs | 19:35 Mon 15th Jul 2013 | Jokes
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I was reading through the jokes here and this had me thinking that they all had to have came from a source like you or i so have you or anyone you know ever made up a joke and if you have let's hear it.
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A whole bunch of colleagues and I were in a converted church which had been turned into a night-club/restaurant. One of the friends was going on and on and ON about his innards - his liver was this, his kidneys were that, his stomach was something else - so I remarked ( sideways) to another friend that this was after all the best place for miles around for an organ recital.
Lol. That's good :-)
When we were teenagers, there was two of us who used to tell this "joke" we had made up. It wasn't a joke and it wasn't funny.
When we told it, we said:
A man walked into a sandwich shop and asked for a ham sandwich, the assistant said, "I'm sorry sir, we only sell Polony".
Then we would both fall about laughing.
The person we were telling it too, would have a poker face and say, "I don't get it?"
We would repeat the joke and dig him with our elbow, and say, you know, Polony? Do you get it now? Polony! Polony!
Then they would laugh and say, "Oh yeah, I get it now!"
This made us laugh even more. It still makes me laugh now, years later.
this recent one was an original from me... problem is I think you can tell.

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Jokes/Question1258541.html
I've come up with a few jokes independently, but they're often not original. As in, I thought of them myself but someone else thought of them first. Which is a pity. But they probably aren't that funny anyway.
-- answer removed --
Isaac Asimov wrote a brilliant short story years ago about scientists trying to discover where jokes came from.

They discovered that we were like experimental rats to an alien race and jokes were fed to us as part of the experiment. Once we discovered this, the experiment ceased and nobody ever laughed at a joke again.
1.
What do you get if you cross an oral sex act with a famous naval officer?

Felatio Nelson.

2. What Do You Get If A 10 Tonne Crab Falls On A Man From India?
A Crushed Asian.

3. I've Just Had Sex With A Female White Bear
And a male white bear I think I'm bipolar....

All my own work.



Often come up with one of those comments that some people find offensive when someone famous has died or something tragic has happened - just my sense of humour I'm afraid. Look away now if you don't want to be offended by my last one - why did Angelina Jolie go public about her mastectomy? She just wanted to get it off her chest.
Someone once said there are only 3 basic jokes based on (1) irony (2) A misunderstanding (3) a play on words (pun) - and virtually all jokes fit this category. In fact I can't think of a "proper joke" that wouldn't fit this definition
It's odd how people can imagine they invented a joke when in fact it's probably in their subconcious and they heard a similar version maybe years before.
Zacmasters joke about the crushed asian for eg - I first heard that when I was at school in the 1970's - although it was an indian gentleman run over by a bus and a crab - what do they have in common - both Crustaceans - but it's still the same joke really.
When my son was little he came out with "What do you call a man with his head in the oven?" "Bernard" (burn head) and "What do you call a man with a spade in his head?" "Doug"(dug)Not sure whether they were his own work but I hadn't heard them before.
My daughter helped me come up with a joke a few months ago. Driving back from a place in Wales I was using the satnav to avoid the standstill A55 and we started to talk about the best/worst voices to install to a satnav.
She suggested a Dalek voice would be funny.
I said “Yeah, but it’d still be useless. It would just keep saying ‘Next turnin’, mate’”.
It was funny at the time, honest.
I remember getting the shuttle bus at Manchester airport years ago and the driver insisted on cracking jokes to all the passengers all the way to the airport, I wasn't on good form and all I wanted to do was snooze but they stuck in my head:
They were all what do you call a man with jokes:
No arms or legs under a pile of leaves: Russel
No arms no legs in a swimming pool: Bob
With a ham on his head: Hamed
With two hams on his head: Morhamed

and so they went on and on and on!

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