Quick Jokes - Sorry For Any Reposts

[puternut]

I just brought a friend of mine a new fridge, should have seen his face light up when he opened it!

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I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. they said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.

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I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid....... then I was petrified.

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A wife says to her husband: "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back".
He says: "What do you expect? You’re in a wheelchair".

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I've been on the phone for ages trying to book tickets for an Elvis tribute act, but it keeps asking me to press 1 for the money, 2 for the show......

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A friend of mine moved into a new house at the weekend so I took him over a couple of radiators. Just a little house warming present.

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I've just heard the window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my house. I think he's lost his rag.

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I went to my allotment last week and found someone had covered it with 2 inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered again with another 2 inches of soil. The plot thickens!!!

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A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....

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A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'

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I start a new job in Seoul next week.. I thought it was a good Korea move.

[excelsior-1]

all new to me - very good too

[marval]

Very good

[Chipchopper]

Every ones a winner!

[DTCwordfan]

How does an Eskimo build his 4 bedroom house, all mod cons inc.....

He glues it together.

[seadogg]

All good clean pun.