St Peter said at the pearly gates
You can't come in you'll have to wait
Till I ask the man and take a look
In the sins and in the big swear book
It says here you've been naughty jim
And often too.... not just at whim
But sod 'Em Jim me old mugger
Come on in you lucky bu@@er
I need a friend a chum a mate
Someone to help with this sodding gate !!
I'm glad you let me in.. at last
Sorry 'bout my murkey past
I wasn't bad just bored you see
One day I woke and thought f@@k me
I'll see what else there is to do
I'll run around throw verbal poo
Twas quite good fun for a bit
Till I landed in the proverbial sh@@
They locked me up and tossed the key
But now I'm here so God bless me