Irish

[marval]

Two easy lessons in learning how to teach the Irish gig
1. Serve alcohol
2. Lock toilet doors

Did you hear about the Irishman that tried to blow up a car?
He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe

What do you call a leprechaun covered in cement?
A wee hard man

Paddy thought Johnny Cash was change from a condom machine
He also thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease

Did you hear about the Irishwoman with five legs?
Her knickers fitted her like a glove

All that money you had and now you’re skint says O'Kane to Murphy what did you do with it all?
I spent most of it on women and drink and squandered the rest says Murphy


A secret agent was sent to Ireland to pick up some very sensitive information from an agent called Murphy.

His instructions were to walk around town using a code phrase until he met his fellow agent.

He found himself on a desolate country road and finally ran into a farmer. "Hello, said the agent.

"I'm looking for a man called Murphy."

"Well you're in luck," said the farmer, "as it happens, there's a village right over the hill, where there's a butcher called Murphy, the baker is named Murphy, three widows are called Murphy.

In fact my name is Murphy."

"Aha," thought the agent, "here's my man."

So he whispered the secret code. "The sun is shining... the grass is growing...the cows are ready for milking."

"Oh," said the farmer, "you're looking for Murphy the spy - he's in the village over the other direction."