It's Yorkshire Day, Apparently.....

[DTCwordfan]

So, in honour of this momentous event, this thread is for Yorkshire jokes

Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.
Vet: Is it a tom?
Yorkshireman: Nay, I've browt it with us.

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?
Jeweller: Do you want it eight'en carat?
Yorkshireman: No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft feggin' beggur.

[DTCwordfan]

For the record:

http://i62.tinypic.com/10z24it.jpg

[tonyav]

It's the only way, DT !.

[DTCwordfan]

A Yorkshire couple go to the Costa Brava for a holiday, but on arrival, the wife says "I won't be able to make gravy with your dinner, love - I've forgotten the Bisto."

The husband says, "Don't worry, luv -there's an English couple staying in the next apartment, I'll see if they have any"

So he knocks on the door of the next apartment, and says to the man, "Allo, hast any Bisto?"

To which the man replies "Pish off, you Spanish prat!""

[tonyav]

LOL.

[DTCwordfan]

How do you make a Yorkshire omelette?

First nick three eggs.

[tonyav]

But not from mrs o though, DT.

[DTCwordfan]

What more need I say?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQR_s4yz3d8

[tonyav]

Captain Boycott ! I'm sure he used to be a pilot with Cosmos.

[DTCwordfan]

Done for wife-bashing I am led to believe.....

[tonyav]

Yeah, that was him !

[DaisyNonna]

DT, remind me not to read your jokes when I have a mouthful of Scotch.

[DTCwordfan]

It's awful wiping it off one's pc screen, isn't it, Daisy?

[tonyav]

And such a waste to.

[DTCwordfan]

Of water or Scotch?

[DTCwordfan]

Could be Yorkshire 'fire-water,' tony........

http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/main-topics/local-stories/the-whisky-producers-of-wharfedale-1-2473164

[DaisyNonna]

More worried about the keypad than the screen. Waste of both!

[tonyav]

Yorkshire whiskey, hope it's cheap.

[marval]

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell *** cream?"

Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"


The works' boss, "Young Mr Peter" had to tell old Joe it was time for him to retire after 60 years with the firm.

The old man was indignant:

"So, it's come to this, 'as it? Ah'm not wanted any longer?
Ah worked for thi dad, thi grandad and 'is dad an' all.
Ah tell thi what lad, if Ah'd known this job weren't going to be permanent, Ah'd nivver 'ahe tekken it on."


A photographer up t'hi street advertised that he could retouch photographs.

So in walks this woman with a picture of 'er departed husband.

I'd like this 'eer photo retouched, and while yer at it remove his 'at. I nivver did like that 'at.

Aye said t'photographer chap. Now just before you go missus I must know which side he parted his hair.

E by gum lad, you must think I am reight daft, you'll find that out when you take his 'at off.

[WELSHYORKIE]

LOL, DT - made me chuckle especially the dog joke.

[tonyav]

LOL, like them, marval.