Laugh Or Cry!

[maggiebee]

What anti-perspirant do Irish people use?
To be Sure, To be Sure....

Paddy is doing some roofing for Murphy
As he nears the top of the ladder he starts shaking and getting dizzy
He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've gone all giddy and I feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo Paddy?"
Paddy replies "No, I only live round the corner."

[marval]

lol, love them

[cupid04]

Lol! Don't you just love the Irish!

[Shaglene]

If it wasn't for the Irish, there wouldn't be many jokes.

[aelmpvw]

Paddy and Mick are at the job centre looking for work. They come across a sign that says "tree fellers wanted". Paddy says to Mick, "Ahhh, what a pity Sheamus isn't with us''

[maggiebee]

Nice one aelmpvw.

[tonyav]

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausages?"
The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am, but let me ask you something...

If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"

The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"




The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords."

[Psybbo]

TONY!!

[Tilly2]

The don't sell sausages in Halfords??????

[tonyav]

LOL, don't you like it Psybbo.

No the don't, Yilly.

[Psybbo]

Huh, full of Bradley Wiggens's, Tilly!

[Tilly2]

They don't sell pork pies, either. I was looking for a Melton Mowbray one today and came home with a pack of carpets for the car.

[tonyav]

Do they sell carpets in Halfords now then, Yilly ?.

[shoota]

They don't make carpets in Melton Mowbray dear, you're thinking of Wilton.

[Tilly2]

I tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, Halfords do sell car carpets!

Or was I in B&Q?????????

[Tilly2]

Wilton, is that in Oxfordshire, Shoota?

[shoota]

No dear, Wiltshire.

[Prudie]

^^ like that Tony

[Psybbo]

Tilly, when anybody calls me 'dear' my hackles rise!

[Tilly2]

I'm not going all the way to Wiltshire for a car carpet!


Oh, I'm thinking of Witney. The blanket place.

[Tilly2]

Sibs, I'm ignoring the 'dear' bit. My hackles are totally flat.