I Like These Signs

[marval]

1. On a ski lift in Taos, New Mexico. "No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."

2. Official sign near door: "Door Alarmed". Hand printed sign nearby: "Window frightened."

3. Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus (translation of the Greek): "Caution: Road Slippery from Grape juice."

4. A sign advertising a Companywide skiing race: "Let's see who can go downhill the fastest."

5. Sign in King's Canyon in California. "Slow Parking Ahead."

6. A billboard seen next to the highway, traveling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads: "Our hardware runs better without windows!"

7. Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago. Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you.

8. Seen in a health food store: "Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot."

9. "Children left unattended will be towed at parent’s expense."

10. I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant. The sign read: "Women are not served here. You have to bring your own."

[Zacs-Master]

Sign on a camping shop in December:
Now is the winter of our discount tents.

[EDDIE51]

There is a road called 'Evans Close' near me, someone has written under the name 'Hell's Nearer'.

[zebo]

Our fruit and vegetable place has "Children left unattended will be sold to the circus." It's a bit counter productive though, my granddaughter wanted me to leave her so she could be sold to the circus.

[Fanriffic]

Sign stuck on the front door of the local Family Planning Clinic:

"Please Use Rear Entrance"

[anaxcrosswords]

I never fail to be unreasonably amused by a sign on the road into Alderley Edge that says "Children Please Drive Slowly".

[janzman]

Sign on a shop door

PUSH
if that doesn't work
PULL
if that doesnt't work we're closed