Christmas Cracker Jokes!

[Voltage]

lets have your worst xmas cracker jokes !
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
"It's Christmas Eve"

[marval]

Why did no one bid for Rudolph or Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer

[marval]

What do you call someone that’s scared of Santa?
Claus-trophobic

[Patsy33]

What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!

[Voltage]

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing, it was on the house

[marval]

What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?
Is it going to rain dear?

[Patsy33]

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you!

[marval]

What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful!

[zebo]

What's wrong with the Christmas Alphabet? There's no-el. Thank you my six year old granddaughter.

[marval]

What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho!

[mazie]

What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?

Twerky

[marval]

Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh!

[mazie]

Why did Santa’s little helper go in for counselling?

He suffered from low elf esteem.

[marval]

What is white and minty?
A polo bear!

[tonyav]

Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat Brussels sprouts on Christmas day.

He wants to give peas a chance.

[marval]

How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey?
On the dark side.

[tonyav]

Which Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year.

Deal or No Deal.

[marval]

What is the best Christmas present?
A broken drum, you can't beat it!

[mazie]

How do you hire a horse?

Stand in on four bricks

[mazie]

What award goes to designers of door knockers?

A no bell prize

[marval]

What do frogs wear on their feet?
Open toad sandles.