I gave my partner a right pasting today. Serves him right for getting in the way whilst I am wallpapering.
I went to the doctors today about my addiction to astrology. He said “What are the signs?”
I fancied a pint so I thought I’d try The Not Inn. It was shut.
I told my son if he got into university I would get him some fitting transport.
I did, I got him a unicycle.
I keep a clock in our henhouse. It’s my Chicken Tikka.
I bought a piano today for a thousand pounds. It is a grand piano.
There has been some strange news about charged particles recently. I am going to keep my ion it.
I have just seen some wolf meat on sale in Tesco. So I bought a pack.
I lost my job today after taking a partridge, a rabbit and a pheasant to work. Apparently that wasn’t what my boss meant when he asked me to come up with a game plan.
I hate sitting on planes whilst they are taking off. I am surprised I have never fallen off to be honest.