Road Trip

[marval]

I was going on a road trip with my two mates both called Tom. When I got into the car I said “I take it you know where we’re going?”

I bought a new carpet cleaner which removes 99% of stains. Ali G isn’t happy.

I saw an old lady struggling to get on the coach. “Excuse me,” she said, “Could you help me with my case.” “Sorry love,” I replied, “But I can recommend a good solicitor.”

My house is burglar-proof. I have painted it with 1’s, 2’s, 3’s and 4’s. There is safety in numbers.

I just got ripped off by someone on Ebay. I bought a pair of Night Vision Goggles. They sent me a diving mask and two carrots.

Maybe my new transparent wrapping paper was a bad idea but at least I made my presents known.

My attempts at cross breeding fruits with vegetables have only made me melon-cauli.

Whenever anybody asks what I do. I tell them I am a Thai boxer, to make myself sound hard. Sounds better than telling them I pack men’s neckwear in a warehouse.

I have just bought a CD about railways. It has got some nice tracks.

A market researcher stopped me earlier and asked me what my favourite condiment was. I said, “I would never reveal my sauces.”

[maggiebee]

On good form marval x

[hereIam]

Lol some good 'uns there ...

[Canary42]

/// I bought a new carpet cleaner which removes 99% of stains. Ali G isn’t happy. ///

Sorry, but that one's past its use-by date. The town is now called Staines-Upon-Thames ;-)

[Patsy33]

Lol...

[Chipchopper]

Tom and Tom didn't know if they were coming or Garmin