Armless
There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and do a lot of things that took two arms.
One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide.
He went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the edge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn’t have any arms at all. He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life. He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if he could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again.
He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
He replied;, "I’m NOT happy. My *** itches."