Football Ground
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two
plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole
in one of the bags, and every once in a while a £20 note comes
flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman
stops her.
"Ma'am, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag."
"Damn!" says the little old lady, "I'd better go back and see if
I can gather up some of them. Thanks!"
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "Where did you get that
money? Did you steal it?"
"Oh, no," says the little old lady. "You see, my yard backs up
to the car park of the football stadium. Each time there's a
game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my
flower beds! So, I stand behind the bushes with a big hedge
clipper and each time some guy sticks his dick through the
bushes, I say; '£20 or off it comes!'"
"Hey not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "Ok, good luck! By the
way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well," says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up."