Tourist
An American tourist in London wanders into a local pub, downs a few pints, then stumbles out of the door. After walking for a while, he finds himself in a posh residential neighbourhood with no public toilets in sight.
In pain, he finds a side street and walks up to a wall. Just as he unzips, a British cop grabs his arm and says, "Sir, you can't do that here!"
"Sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really have to take a leak and I can't find a toilet."
"Follow me," says the cop. He leads the American down a back alley and opens a gate. Inside is a lush garden with manicured lawns, statues and fountains.
"Whiz anywhere you like," says the cop.
The American goes about his business, then returns and says, "I guess this is what you call English Hospitality!"
"No," says the cop, "This is what we call the French Embassy."