News0 min ago
It's The Way I Tell Em.
Congratulations to me! I just made my last mortgage payment!
I still owe £262,000, but I'm just not going pay them anymore.
___________
My girlfriend accused me of cheating.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
___________
Started my new job as an Amazon driver. First day, very first delivery, called at the house and a note on the door said "If not in, please hide in garage."
Well I was in there for 6 hours and they still hadn't found me!
___________
My daughter said, "I hope you're going to shave off that stupid moustache. It's embarrassing!"
I was stunned. It was the bravest thing I've ever heard anyone say to the wife!
___________
I bought a 'self-assembly' bird table last week.
I put it in the garden, but they haven't even opened the box yet.
___________
If a woman undresses in front of you, she's either interested in you or sees you as just a friend...
Or hasn't spotted you in the tree opposite!
___________
I still owe £262,000, but I'm just not going pay them anymore.
___________
My girlfriend accused me of cheating.
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
___________
Started my new job as an Amazon driver. First day, very first delivery, called at the house and a note on the door said "If not in, please hide in garage."
Well I was in there for 6 hours and they still hadn't found me!
___________
My daughter said, "I hope you're going to shave off that stupid moustache. It's embarrassing!"
I was stunned. It was the bravest thing I've ever heard anyone say to the wife!
___________
I bought a 'self-assembly' bird table last week.
I put it in the garden, but they haven't even opened the box yet.
___________
If a woman undresses in front of you, she's either interested in you or sees you as just a friend...
Or hasn't spotted you in the tree opposite!
___________
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by Rondy. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.