Alternate meanings
1. Coffee - The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted - Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate - To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade - To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly - Impotent.
6. Negligent - Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph - To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle - Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence - Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash - A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle - A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude - The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pok�mon - A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster - A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism - The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent - An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.