milliezoe - the moey you paid in went to pay for the care of the people in homes at the time you paid it. So it's the people (like your son) paying tax when you are in a home that will be paying for it - like it or lump it, the money you paid in is long gone as that is the way the system has always worked.
I'm not saying it is fair, but the only way to ensure you have the benefit of your cash is to spend it yourself and take your chances on what's available when you are old, or keep it and use it for your comfort in your old age.
I have worked myself for 26 years and have probably another 23 years to work before I will be entitled to any state pension - probably more than that by then and I believe that by that point becasue I will have saved towrds my own pension, I will probably get nothing at all. Not much i can do about it other than consider myself lucky that I have stayed in employment and raised my family and lived in a nice home.