Golf Course or.....

[DTCwordfan]

4 long time golf friends out for a game.

The first one on to the tee says "I can't afford to carry on playing - it's not the green fees or the lost golf balls; every time I play I have to buy a decent dinner and a bottle of good wine for the Missus"

He bangs his ball down the middle.

Second golfer, "My, you have it lucky, I can't afford this too - I have to buy expensive presents from time to time for my wife. Last time it was a diamond bracelet."

Down the middle goes his ball.

Third friend makes it onto the tee, "God, you two are soooo lucky. I cant't afford this game; I have the monthly installments on a Mercedes top-of-the-range sports car to pay."

He puts it down the middle of the fairway.

Fourth guy gets on to the tee and says nothing. Hits his shot and starts to walk off the tee.

"Hey, Jack, don' t you have a problem with your wife or are you that wealthy?"

"No problem with the missus," came the reply.

"What's the secret of your success, then?"

"Oh, I just wake her at 5am and say "Golf course or Intercourse?" She says, "Take your sweater!""

[Groupie]

A man received a ransom note stating that, if he ever hoped to see his wife alive again, he was to bring £50,000 to the 17th hole of the golf country club at ten the next morning.

The next day, he didn't arrive until almost 12:30. Jumping out from behind some bushes, a masked man yelled at him, "What took you so long? You're over two hours late!".

"Give me a break, would you?" whined the man. "I do have a twenty-seven handicap!"