Mad Over 50's Club now open

[Mamyalynne]

In her Ladyship's absence may I extend a warm welcome to friends old and new. We also have a sick note from the Butler, so if I may ask you help yourself to the buffet and copious amounts of drink at your will, I may also be a little distracted as I have guests in the Gamekeepers Lodge who are quite demanding.

This evening's menu is a tribute to a lovely ladies Birthday - I believe she has even been untagged for the occasion.

We have Hot Pot and pickled beetroot, sausage rolls (best venison) various salads, a milk stout blancmange....this week's tailcock is the Sharples, a seemingly spiky outside note with a soft and generous centre, a witty number really.

For the Rofl:

5 Newton and Ridley beermats
assorted coloured hairnets
3 lisle stockings
packet of dart flights

So gather round and make yourselves at home.

[albaqwerty]

Good evening Matron xx

Happy Birthday wishes to the secret lady.

For the riffle I can offer

one Fishnet stocking
a pack of 48 cards.

I noticed earlier the Butler is taking a sabbatical tonight, one cannot get the staff these days.

[Mamyalynne]

So true Alba, do have a Sharples.

[DTCwordfan]

hi sorry to hear about the Butler - what is it *** or fleas, mamya?

Therefore the riffle:

one flea collar
one prison gerry can
one prison menu
one Zhukov hymn sheet
one pair of used prison garments
one Jailbird nightie with Owl paw prints on it
one key, bent
one copper, also bent.

I have two poems tonight. I tried sending LIK my dwaft last week for publication to find that the poliz had turned his account off. So the first one in a few minutes will be the one composed for the Madness last weekend.

The Bard aka DTC aka ex Ed Prisoner.

[DTCwordfan]

Glad to see you are honouring the old stalwart bird, mamya.....a sour Sharples will do nicely, on the rocks, but not Moonie's, please

[Mamyalynne]

Coming right up DT , a bard with a dry whistle is never a good thing.

As for 'himself' - well patient confidentiality I am afraid.

[DTCwordfan]

the stars being fur-ming-e

[owdhamer]

Good evening milady has the butler been at the claret again. I have for the raffle 2 empty paint tins ,small, half a bottle of turps, and a moth eaten paint brush.

[DTCwordfan]

the first of the Gaol Offerings (remember - written last week)

THE BARD’s PRISON


The Bard is in jail so far, far away
and it hurts you all almost every day (well may be a minute)
He knew when he was there
it was coming to an end
He knew he should of done something
right there and then.

The Bard is in jail so far, far away
he cant even be apart of your lives today.
as you and go threw AB friends and do other things
He wont be there to call
when you and Ed are
yelling names, cussing at each other,
and he's putting you to shame because
The Bard did some of those bad hot-headed things.

The Bard is in jail so far, far away
You wonder when he’ll get out
will things be the same
will you be all the friends that he knows or
will you be someone else coz
jail changed his soul.
He doesn't understand the reason for this
going to prison for The Tsar’s demeanour when in
there its a bigger mess.
its like taking a drunk to a bar
and expect him to sober up
when you know he's just
gonna get more messed up.

The Bard is in jail so far, far away
when he gets out we guess we will see
the answers to the question he has today
but for right now he will just continue to pray
and hope for the best until that day.
The Bard still loves you and will write you too
please don't forget about him because
He will always care and miss you

The Bard’s in jail so far, far away
while you sit here tears running down your face
hoping everything will fall into place
He will never forget the time you had
and try to be brave and not be sad
The Bard knows it’s hard and you got a lot on your plate
but remember there's people willing to wait
for him to turn straight

The Bards in jail so far, far away
Lady A, Mamya, Lie-In King
Nungate, sunny, Alba, others asking
hopefully that haven't gave up on him
He’ll have a second owdhamer chance to make it right
so continue the Polar fight of the battle he’s got
to make it back to the ones he loves.

[lady-janine]

good evening everyone and best wishes for a very happy birthday to the secret lady.

tailcock sounds fine and i have my bucket ready for filling up.

for the riffle tonight i can offer:
redundant cushions (they are a little saggy)
slightly burnt saucepan
comb with only two broken teeth
variety of old tooth brushes for use in cleaning small places
bottle of aromatic air from visit to pig farm.

hope these are acceptable.

[DTCwordfan]

I would have thought all those choppers over Culdrose would have seen off the piggy aromas, LJ - hope things are a wee bit brighter for you (ref a thread a couple of days ago).

[humbersloop]

Good evening Matron,

so sorry to learn you'll have to clear out the wine cellar alone this evening, though needs must.

As you'll be stretched this evening, the Otter remains aboard elsewhere, wouldn't be fair to expect the games room to be open too.

In mi'ladyship's absence, I assume the riffle will inevitably be a rollover, but nevertheless bring:

a ship surveyor's hammer, used
large quantity 60/30mild steel welding rods, part used
some reclaimed banana cake, no actual weevils

And a very large flagon of the Sharples would be most welcome.

[DTCwordfan]

Greetings sloopy, time to go for the port perhaps....? Some 1966 Warres and perhaps there's an odd bottle of a 55 floating around.

[Mamyalynne]

Welcome all , have refilled the vat erm punchbowl - what grand prizes we have too.

[Mamyalynne]

An ode to top The Ballad of Pentonville DT , fair brought a tear

[lady-janine]

DT thanks for your concern (hope i can be excused this slight hijack) I keep telling myself that i am so very lucky compared with some others. not working that well. (note to self) must stop wallowing in self pity.

riffle orgaisers- could my ticket please be marked for the welding rods, pretty please.

another bucket of tailcock might help.

[slinky.kate]

hello there,can i come in,i am bearing gifts for the rifl
1 Tunnocks teacake(a bit squashed)

1 pink slipper(dog chewed other one)

1 concert ticket for drum & bugle concerto in 2 major(glasgow opera hall) tomorrow night.

[DTCwordfan]

(off line - if there is anything you need to unload to a pair of sympathetic ears, we can arrange it, LJ).

aah some more ENA I see - where is the young broad tonight? I guess at the Rovers?

[lady-janine]

anozzer tailcocccks pleesh

[DTCwordfan]

Time for the Release Ode perhaps.......

Tuesday
Released from AB prison.
Greeted by my Castle family
I drop like a Nungate rock in the still moat water
gripping them as tightly as I can
crying with joy with no adjectives to accurately describe my feelings
Only the croc knows
The depths, the black waters abound.
Remnants of bones, cards and bottles
Llama and cat poo as well

There is a sea of Castle people
Lie-In-King at his closet
tailcocks
Buffet von-au-wols
cameras
raffle prizes
questions filling my ears,
none ringing quite as loudly as
How does it feel to be free?
Can I get plastered on TV?

An innocent man
victim of the Ed’s Mod’s job
to throw a Bard in the can,
the only suspect
Some Russian Count
little evidence pointing to me
except that I was there
and the Mod refused to believe
that I saw a man commit suspension
right in front of me.

There must be motive
headlines sensationalized.
Pressure for the truth to be revealed,
Yes, I started I said “Good”
Misconstrued
it became a political trial.
Insults bounded
No regrets for him
No regrets for me
No doubt another targeted event.

Eight days later
resolution for the other family?
unwanted resolution for me?
I didn’t want to be changed this way
I didn’t want to lose my faith in the AB justice system
I didn’t want to be separated from the Castle ones I love
I didn’t want this, but now I m opened to Mad 50’s reality
outside of the rules of everyone else’s AB daily living.
Mamya’s guidance, Lady J’s admonishments
I’m a stronger Bard.


A sunny-dave reporter quips
What’s it like to be a semi-innocent Bard?
I stand and approach him
thinking
what a strange question to ask someone who has committed no crime.
But, in this moment
I know what I am about to write about
Release
Owdhamer Freedom in the Castle grounds
but not what I will say.

[Mamyalynne]

Most moving sniff!