A warm welcome to all who dare enter Nungate Towers this evening, we plan an evening full of delight and deliciousness for all. Tonight's tailcock will be the "Aurora Borealis" in honour of the widespread sightings of the Northern lights this week - guaranteed to "light" up our festivities. Also on offer is the customary selection of volly vonts and canapes, Scoff has excelled himself with tonight's hot plate - Toad in the Hole with onion gravy
(real toads of course) also on offer lentil soup and bread rolls, there will also be vegetarian dishes on offer, nut roast or bean burgers. On the pudding trolley apple dumplings and custard and sugared mice (freshly caught by the Towers cats)
Yet again the Minstrels will be in the gallery to play a selection of madrigals and fugues and tonight as a special treat they will be joined by local band "The Tone Deafs" in a selection of barber shop favourites. Bungee jumping is also available for those brave souls (weather permitting) and the Muckleflugga Fisherman's Choral Society will be performing a selection of sea shanties and lullabies in the music room.
The Great Hall sack race for the Towers saucer will be held later tonight, all wishing to enter are requested to enter their name on the form on the console table in the vestibule.
The offering for tonight's rofl includes a skein of tangled wool (the cats again) 1 fish tank filter (used) and half completed Times crossword from January 1947.
Carriages have been ordered for midnight
Igor! A drink for our guest.
All guests are requested to leave all weapons in the vestibule and step through the metal detector failure to do so will result in a full body search by Chubb, the Keeper or the keys and Head of Security
I love eating toad in the hole and have just demolished a large slab - seriously.
Now the Aurora Borealis - that's an explosive description for my Domaine de Mont Auriol (I do not jest)
Raffles and Riffles:
3 Indian Frogs without back legs
Plate of Sichuan Grasshoppers in Chili
Plate of Vietnamese Water Rat whiskers
Plate of Hedgehogs (warning: a little sharp)
Plate of Taiwanese Rice Worms
One delish sea cucumber
One silver chopstick (can test if the food is poisoned)
One Packet of Walkers Salt and Onion - open
One middle leg of Gary Lineker.
Thank you for the security, nungate; I found my (Alzie's) mother had an eighteen inch long bayonet in the house today - whether its a Civil War one that she found in the fields, I do not know, as they housed the Royalists in the Civil war before a scrap called "The Battle of Tresillian".
Looking forwards to the do, i am bringing a group called Doris and the magic wand,s the lead singer is american and quite mad,with a penchant for wacky backy, her husband sinclair, better known as C5 is a journo and will drink you dry,Another couple will be with fhem, she usually sports a black eye as she puts it about a bit,they are known as hit man and her ,for the raffle a crate o guinness . drunk , a broken eye patch, and a summons.
Good evening maam, sloopy and all who may enter your magnificent nungate towers, for the roffle I have a lovely Zippo lighterquote[with a slight petrol leak[i] a distributor cap suitable for a 1962 Triumph Herald and 4 eight mill bolts [i]heads have been worn round ![i].
[i]do I really have to leave my flick knife in the vestible].
A bucket of Aurora and some toad in the hole without the hole would be most welcome, maam.
I have some more friends coming later,Dubchek 2 pints and nobody understands him,cabbage, the greengrocer, joe the pig one time farmer, oraganised a trip to amsterdam for his 50th, 20 turned up he did not , bonny brid,maybe blinking stan, and bungalow, not much on top.
good evening gracious hostess and assembled guests.
will the delightful queen be coming down tonight?
my weapon is my very intelligent mind (difficult to leave at the door)
here are my contributions for the wafull :-
two meters of waxed string
one bottle of hair-gel .. 100ml
forty two rice crispies
one spark plug
a 'bag-for-life'
a cat flea-collar
three cubes of sugar
please put me down for the sack race and a bungee jump.
a large aurora and some tucker please - i'm famished.
We looked up
At the black-Lothian diamond sky
Crested with twinkling stars
And the moon burned gold in the Scottish night.
And there in the vestry like a tonyav in the dark
Crept a shadowy wisp of smoky tailcock gray
Barely discernible but tasty
Hovering
Waiting
Like a glass for its petal prey…
Then swift as a llama it waddled through the air
In a blaze of green-blue light
And it lingered there
Glowing
A strange, ethereal Nungate Towers haze…
A sibbo flash from the west, I turned my head
A gness flash from Northampton, I turned again
And the skies were splashed in shimmering light
Pastel sunny-dave ribbons brushed with crimson
In giant arcs did span the Nungate clouds
The bold, defiant strokes of a rowan and bardish hand
Painted on the canvas of the midnight sky.
I looked again, was I pissed
And the air exploded in billowing waves of sulphurous hall fire
Swirling alcoholic mist
Diaphanous QoM dust
Cascading Lady J color
What vaporous AB nymphs attend and spritely male-ish fauns
Danced there on the jewelled Jumbo black
the AB dance floor on hessian sack
Igor pouring libations from invisible NoM vials
Their cacophony of light midst the silent Rae stars.
Then the wind blew softly ‘cross the Tower's rink ice
And the goddess of night, Nungate, reclaimed her throne
Her ebony cloak enwrapped the polarbear skies
And cast its shadow on the sleeping 50ers
Once more.
And I looked within
What awe and wonder
Had I heard with my eyes
And seen the raffle with my heart
For everything on the buffet was nothing
And the toad-in-the-hole was everything
But something wasn’t anything
As it was