Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Good evening a welcome to all members of the Mad Over Fifties club. we have a packed programme of events for tonight. The Minstrels are in the gallery warming up for their usual round of madrigals and toccatas and in the ballroom our favourite local band the Tone Deafs are warming up for an evening of sixties covers! Our tailcock this evening is the "Tiny Teddy" named for the newest member of our family Teddy the kitten! Tonight's hot plate special is Bangers and mash with onion gravy, and on tonight's pudding trolley we have strawberry tarts with Chantilly cream (Queenie was busy making the cream before she scooted off to the speedway) For your further entertainment in the vestibule we have Dr Zonko and Hilda (his beautiful assistant) with amazing magic tricks and lion taming!
The hot tub is on the north tower bubbling away the mini bar has been replenished (thank you Igor) The bungee still has plenty of bounce in it!
Both swimming pools are ready for members use (cosies are available in the changing rooms), the rowing boats are lined up on the shores of the lake, and the race track has been re-laid and the cars revved ready to use.
The gardens are looking splendid and the barbecue down on the beach are all set the arrival of our members.
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals

Carriages at midnight

[DaisyNonna]

Our t shirts were about the colour of Tony's avatar. Will not mention the covering of our nether regions.
What other sports were available to you?
We had to play netball which I detested.

[nungate]

Even a visit to the loo takes on the effort of preparing a trip up Everest.
First catch your kitten. Put him in the travel box away from the other cats while room is unattended. Tell older cat that she will have her bowl filled presently, having been distracted, first catch kitten and return to box. Tell older cat that you'll be there in a minute ...... first catch kitten tell older cat to be quiet finally fasten catch on box. Kitten safely caged. Find Queenie hasn't washed up, wash cat bowls. Feed older cat. Tell kitten to stop yowling you'll be back in a tick and he can get out of the travel box then.
Finally got to loo. Fight urge to remain there until Queenie or Husband return from speedway/work (whichever is earliest) Return to laptop. Kitten sends reminder that you promised to let him out of box (had hoped he might have dozed off) Release kitten - looks up at you his bowl is empty again ..... traipse to kitchen refill bowl return to find kitten has climbed on top of bookcase retrieve kitten and warn him that you'll cut off his food supply if he climbs up there again.
Return to laptop.
IGOR! I want a valium!

[Igor61]

Your pills Madame

[tonyav]

Well Igor, that rollicking from madame seems to have worked, Frank has greatly improved.

[DaisyNonna]

Deep breath nungate, let it out slowly.
Visualise a beautiful sunny day, pleasantly warm. Blue sky, green grass under your feet. Kick off your shoes, wriggle your toes in the grass. Another deep breath.
Now, catch the little b....r!

[tonyav]

Daisy, football, cricket, rugby, athletics, gawd and cross country running.

nungate, don't take anymore nonsense from the felines, a boot up the backside can work wonders ![i].

[Mammar]

A very good evening to all!

[Mammar]

Have I arrived at a bad time? There's cats and kittens everywhere, dear Nungate hiding in the corner sucking her thumb and luckily I've brought my sunglasses as Igor's chains are blindin' !

[nungate]

Evening Mammar.

That's the thing Daisy, he's fast. Little beggar has slept all day and is full of beans now, and anytime I move he ducks in behind a little chair in the corner of the room where he can hide - he's just discovered television, and Queenie won't get home for another hour at least .....

[Igor61]

Madame Mammar, I have your Tiny Teddy, would you like a plate of something?

[tonyav]

Evening Mammar, looks like the little bleeders are running nungate ragged tonight.

[DTCwordfan]

Good evening and how is Mammar?

[Mammar]

Oh the smell of the bangers and mash is wonderful. So pleased Tone didn't want the gravy as it's my favourite sort.
Daisy, were your sportswear nether garments as attractive and as thick as my navy blues? I used to stuff my hanky up the leg of mine (but don't tell the fellas that)

[Mammar]

Mammar is very well, thanks, DT. And yerself?

[tonyav]

Wondered why you had a bulge, Mammar !.

[DaisyNonna]

Hello Mammar. Just a slight hiatus.
I am sure Frank (closely supervised by the wonderful Igor) will satisfy your every need.

[DTCwordfan]

Fine here, may go for another tailcock.....they're cat-calming; better than feeding them viagra.

[Mammar]

I thought about you and your writing the other day, DT, as my daughter returned from her holidays and presented me with a book of handcrafted paper bound in leather and told me I had to write all my memories in it for my Grandson. I am so nervous to write in it so I'm drafting it all out on scrap paper first

[Mammar]

I think I'm going to take the random approach to it as if I try to do it chronologically I'm just bound to forget something.
Plus the fact that I've never done anything conventionally in my life so why start now?

[tonyav]

Mammar, I would just write down any memories and then put them in chronological order.