Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Good evening and welcome to AB's Mad Over Fifties Club. Igor is on hand for the concealment of all cloaks, outer garments and broomsticks (please note aforementioned items are left at owners risk, we cannot guarantee the safe return of items left in Igor's care.)
As we maintain the Winter Olympics theme of the past few weeks, our Tailcock for tonight will be the "Icy Curl" (I wonder why.....?)
On our hot plate tonight we offer Steak and Ale pie with creamy mash, and peas. As always we have a selection of horses doovers, canopies and volly vonts, and on the pudding trolley Lemon and Sultana steamed sponge and custard (cream is also available)
The Minstrels are warming up in the Gallery (as usual) practising their Madrigals and toccattas, if you happen to be a music lover I'd advise against visiting the Music room this evening, the local hairy beardies folk singing group has been booked (not by me) and they will be performing traditional folk songs in there (no doubt wearing aran pullovers and one hand clasped firmly over one ear) In the ballroom we have DJ Funky Freddie for those members wishing to dance ............. (who booked these guys?)
Again I must remind members that the Bungee is not in operation until the spring and the hot tub has been relocated down to the dungeons by the indoor swimming pool. (mini bar too) The ice rink is still available for use as is the ski slope and the "sliding" track thingy - loads of trays for sliding too!
The library is fully stocked, and a lovely fire burns in the hearth, we also have all the latest magazines and periodicals for members use too, in fact I understand that we have the latest edition of "Mechanics for Lady Embroiderers" hot off the press.... there is a nice fire in the snug too for members wishing a quieter evening, the games room is primed and ready for those wishing to play. Be aware that strip tiddlywinks is strictly forbidden.
Anyone wishing to go for a wander in the conservatory is reminded not to feed the triffid.
Apologies have been received from Daisynonna who will not be in attendance this evening (Igor is devastated!) due to receiving a better offer but she has sent her spare broom Ernie with an offering for the rofl in the shape of and LP by the Dutch College Swing Band ............. mmm yeess!
Speaking of the rofl, I have to offer
2 door handles (broken)
Box of felt tip pens (all dry)
Pair of speed skates (thank you Elise, you wuz robbed!!!)
Year's subscription to Cow Puncher's Weekly

Would members please note anyone wishing to stay overnight in the guest suites in the West Wing should inform Belle ahead of time so that the suites can be prepared

A warm welcome awaits all who enter these portals

carriages at midnight

[nungate]

We only use plastic buckets for cleaning the windows or the floors Alba, for drinks it's the silver ones

[tonyav]

Zacs must be talking about Sunny Dave, I aint got a Saab anymore !.

[Psybbo]

Albs, do you think Berniecuddles has followed you here?

[tonyav]

Theres a hole in my bucket dear alba dear alba an hole.

[Zacs-Master]

I know but.....once a sweed always a

[nungate]

if he has, he must be over fifty to be admitted, but I suppose if he's a friend of Alba's we'll let him in

[albaqwerty]

a plastic one would do me Nun! (saves on the polishing, thinking of Igor)

The Cuddlyone has stocked up on Kronenberg, Mrs Cuddles birthday :-D

Our Kid, wot, no Saab?! (sniffs)

[tonyav]

Zacs-Master
I know but.....once a sweed always a

A Valvo !

[albaqwerty]

what's wrong with fjords?

[tonyav]

Yeah, the Saab went on the 1st of Oct last year, ah wench, I'll probably miss when if the summer comes.

[queenofmean]

ooh hello Sib...its nice to have a visitor :)

Did you change your car again Tony?

[Igor61]

Don not worry about me polishing the silver Madame Alba, it is my most favourite thing to do

[tonyav]

Nothing at all, ah wench, I used to love my fiord capri's how the hell a Med island managed to float into a fiord I'll never know.

[nungate]

You do know it was Slartiblartfast who designed the fjords Alba? He won an award for them, mind you he always referred to them as the "crinkly bits"

[tonyav]

No Queenie, I still have the Juke for the time being.

[albaqwerty]

Igor, you do it so well and it's sincerely appreciated x

I like saab's, comfy cars.

[tonyav]

Was it Henry Slartiblartfast, nungate ?.

[Psybbo]

Is that a jukebox tony?

[tonyav]

Yep, Saabs are pretty comfy, ah wench.

[nungate]

they never mentioned any other name than Slartiblartfast