What your asking is effectively what is called the an "interpretation" of quantum mechanics.
There are several see here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpretation_of _quantum_mechanics
Quantum mechanics does not explain how and why things happen what it does is gives a ery powerful very accurate way of calculating the probability of certain events.
If you try to figure out what is happening using your everyday experience you will fail because you don't have everyday experience of quantum events. It's like an undiscoverred Amazonian tribe tring to figure out how a plane flies based on a canoe.
A lot of people really hate this - Einstein was one and Shroedinger was another - that's why he devised the cat thought experiment - top show how ludicrous it was.
The Irony is that that very thought experiment is now one of the classic illustrations of quantum theory....