To cheat while dating is not wrong

[foff07]

I'm currently in a relationship and I don't cheat on my girl, but the question remains. Is it really that bad to cheat on your partner when you're not married?

[EngTeach]

Since dating is one step leading towards marriage, and this is where you first build TRUST, I'd have to say, YEAH it's bad. If you want to see others tell her and let her decide if she wants that or to be ono-on-one. How would you feel if you thought your relationship was one thing and she was carrying on as if it were something else? Not to mention the health risks you take by cheating.

How old are you?

[clairey-s]

I think the way you phrased your title pretty much gives away your position on this, as does the phrase "my girl".

Of course its wrong, if someone's your 'partner' then surely you have to love & trust them! It's still cheating, the ring and the bit of paper are just a technicality.

x

[fiest82]

Yes It Is. Cheating is cheating, married or not. Once the trust is gone, you're never going to get her back. So dont cheat.

[Pippa68]

Yes it is that bad.

The term 'cheating' gives a good clue. In an open relationship where the couple have agreed to date other people it isn't cheating. But if at least one of the people expects the other to remain faithful to them it is cheating.

[flip_flop]

I have been with my 'girlfriend' (I'm in my mid-30s so I HATE that term, but I equally hate 'partner - what term can I use???) for 10 years and we have a child.

Our union is just as strong as a marriage, we just happened to have decided not to marry.

So, yes, cheating even if you are not married is just as wrong as cheating of you are married.

I assume you are young?

[foff07]

On the contrary I am not young, never-the-less I shall with-hold my age.

Commitment is a promise between two people that they will remain honest to each other. However, unless this commitment is binded with a ring in Gods eyes there is no commitment: Adultery has not been committed because there was no commitment.

In terms of how wrong it is to cheat is another aspect. Take for instance Prince William and Kate Middleton. If Kate started to flirt and kiss other blokes (or even women) then William would suffer humiliation.

[jno]

you can cheat without committing adultery. If it's cheating, it's bad. Have you asked your 'girl' her opinion?

[fiest82]

f.off, committment doesn't need to be shown, its a mutual feeling if you care deeply about someone and would never go behind their back to hurt them....if you don't have it now when you're not married, its unlikely you'll feel it when you're wearing a ring.

[Panic Button]

What would your view be if it was your girlfriend cheating on you?

[foff07]

In an honest relationship there is nothing to worry about because you love each other and talk about everything, so the idea of cheating is never suspected. However, new relationships can be a sea of doubt.

Avoid attachment. If you start thinking "your cheating on me!", you're getting jealous. Simply think, "if she is having sex with him it doesn't matter, because that is what she wants to do". The most important thing is that your partner is happy.

Therefore, cheating while dating is not wrong because at this time we are free although there is doubt, so if she is unfaithful I don�t care.

P.S. Marriage is a comletely different level (ie vows).

[fiest82]

I don't really understand what you are getting at but if you are talking about an 'open' relationship where both of you agree to see other people, then I suppose it wouldn't matter what either of you did ...

At the same time though, it wouldn't be much of a relationship, in my opinion, as lack of commitment from the very beginning means you are unsure about it all and do not take relationships or your partner very seriously at all.

[raysparx1]

Hi foff, I strongly believe that if you are in a relationship with somebody wether you are married in the eyes of god as you say or not does not matter it is an unwritten thing that to have a relationship with somebody else is wrong you can wrap it up with fancy words as much as you like but it is cheating and therefore wrong, very wrong, what difference does a marriage certificate make ? wrong is wrong, it is quite simple .

[foff07]

In order to avoid getting jealous I reasoned that if my girl cheated on me I would not be affected.

This is because as soon as I start to doubt our commitment together I become an investigator. I assess the situation and try to judge who and when she might be having intimate relations with. This is wrong, because I have lost trust in my relationship. The fact is I don't know whether she is cheating on me. However, because I know that she is happy it doesn't matter if she is cheating on me or not. For instance, I "assume" that she is flirting with another guy infront of me. I could get jealous and angry, but I won't because I know that she is happy.

[raysparx1]

Do you honestly believe that if she cheated on you, you would be happy because she is happy ? I can't see this at all and to me you have deluded yourself into believeing this, if she is cheating she is cheating and therefore I can see no future in it for you, you would not be happy if you were married and she cheated, so you should not be happy now, because if she is doing it now why would it stop if and when you do get married, do you think you have a future ? from what i have read i would say NO, so I would get out now, unless in some odd way you get a kick out of imagining her with another bloke, in that case you will be fine.

[fiest82]

Agree with ray, you seem to be living in some warped, sick dreamworld where flirting and cheating is ok as long as everyone is happy. Dont be too hard 0n yourself though....I don't know who your girl is but she seems to have a lot of patience (or maybe she doesnt care, you are just someone to return to at the end of the day) to stay with someone like you.

[foff07]

You're getting confused. She is not cheating on me. I don't care if she was, although if I found out I definitely would not be going out with her. It's just some people worry about partners cheating on them. I was addressing this subject, it have got nothing to do with my relationships.

[joko]

eyes of god?!

given that a huge percentage of people couldn't give a toss about any part of gods anatomy let alone his eyes, to expect people to run their relationships based on this is a bit deluded.
you might want to start viewing relationships as about feelings, emotions, love, friendship, fun, companionship etc rather than a technicality without a contract.

[pixiepie]

if your in any kind of relationship then i truely believe you should be loyal. just because your not married doesnt make it any different in my eyes. its like saying your not bothered about the other person or they are not everything to you. Its wrong wrong wrong

[foff07]

Hey this is simply not justified. You don't have enough information on my relationship to make such an immature comment. You clearly have such little understanding of what goes on in this world. You have to read the material and then write something that has been said or asked.

[joko]

more strange rules and regulations and technicalities that don't fit in the real world an only exist in foffworld.

who are you talking to?