Relationships

[El21]

I am 21 and my partner is 32? Would this be a problem when we are older do you think? I am very much in love with him (and I think he is too about me?!) but sometimes I do worry and wonder about the age if we were to be married and have children - this is how serious I am with him! We have known each other for nearly 2 years come October and this is our 2nd relationship together (the first ended due to me being a bit selfish! It was over a year ago!!). Anyway, what does everyone else think on this situation? Am I being paranoid?!

[andy hughes]

I don't think the gap is significant for either of you just yet. Your partner might want to think about not leaving it longer than about forty to be a dad - this will make you around 29, which is an ideal age for you as well. After that is fine if you wish, but he will be an 'older' dad, which is not a problem in itself, it's just that children take a lot of time and energy! The 'age gap' has been debated on the Site before, I personally think it's no-one's business but yours - the two of you. Be happy.

[tartanwiz]

Age doesn't matter! If you're both in love, that's all that counts.

[zgma]

My husband is 12 years older than me (we got together when we were 22 and 34, been together 8 years). There's no reason that the age difference should be a problem, but there are some considerations... I think at first, for us, the age thing was superficially more obvious than it is now - meaning that at first there was a lot of "Oh, my god, you were only 6 when I went to college" and differences in cultural reference points. After a while that stuff dropped away and became less important. Then he started getting anxious for a child... his dad was 54 when he was born, and died of old age when he was 19, so he didn't want to repeat that for his kids. It took a while before I was ready for one, and I think what eventually made me ready was actually having the child, and growing up because of it. So that was a timing issue because of the age difference. Another issue will arise when we get older: I'll be middle-aged when he's getting to be elderly, and I'll likely be widowed early. Just some things to think about... they didn't bother me enough to not be with my wonderful husband, but if you're talking a life-time relationship, you may consider them. I do also think that our relationship is enriched because of the age difference too - it makes our perspectives different, which keeps life interesting.

[GuavaJellie]

My cousin married a man 10 years older. It is absolutely awful for them now - she is still young and lively and he is, well, just old. Worse still he feels he has to dress, talk and behave like a 20 year old and it is simply terrible. Pack it in and find someone about your own age.

[Kev_UK]

Age is just a number. What is important is maturity.. as you have stated that the relationship ended the first time due to your selfishness, then you have shown maturity by admitting you were wrong. OK, I may sound pesamistic, but I know marriage is supposed to last forever, but in this day and age couples split up for all sorts of reasons, one being you grow apart. Forget about the future, concentrate on now. It is better to have loved and lost then not loved at all. Go for it, forget what other people will think, it's YOUR life.. it's better to be in a relationship for 2 years than none at all.. just take each day as it comes

[tartanwiz]

Only one star, eh? Ah well, I tried.

[Thomas]

He does not have much time left, when you are really getting in to yours, if you know what i mean...

[El21]

Hi Tartanwiz! Look please do not take that to heart! I only meant that by the information you gave! I thank all of you for your advise though - chhers guys! Keep your suggestions coming though if anyone has anymore!!

[sheRa069]

I was the same age with my EX. we were together for 7 years, and as we got older he changed, as you also will change to. i loved him very much, but now that we are not together, i am much happier being with someone thats my age. We can talk about things that were cool when we were younger, and we know alot of the same songs, we just have WAY more in common. but, you have to live and learn, if its meant to be, it will!

[El21]

Thank you sheRa069. I do agree and understand what you mean by this. But it is really hurtful to think of Niall and I splitting up! I hope it is never to be as i am quite serious about this (dispite my age!).

[keirah]

whats the problem you must have doubts if ur on here asking the question im 21 and my partner is 44 he will be 45 this december and i will b 22 in december and when we want to have another child i couldnt give a crap if he is 50+ or whatever and you are being paranoid

[keirah]

and we have been 2gether since i was 16 so age gap relationships do work out

[penshk]

I was 16 when I married my husband of 25, that was 29 years ago. No, your age will not matter now or later.

[alisa]

My sister's husband is 30 years older than her! They met at college, yes he was a tutor, but their relationship didn't begin till many years after that when they began working together. They are well suited and very happy together, the age gap doesn't bother either of them.