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Your Room 101
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What would you choose to put into Room 101?
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15. Homophobic people who can�t tell the difference between love and sex, and who condemn gay people on the basis of the sexual activities of a minority of gay men
16. Racist people who think that �black� and �British� are mutually exclusive
17. The weather, because it is still hot and sweaty and uncomfortable here in London, and because all the lovely thunderstorms went elsewhere
18. Media people who refer to hot weather as �good�or �nice�
19.Innumerate people who pretend that there was a Year Zero and who falsely try to pretend that the new millennium started in 2000 rather than 2001
20. People who try to pretend that Nadia is a man and who don�t understand what the word �transsexual� means
21. People who set quiz questions without checking the correct answers properly
22. For example: people who think that Jupiter has 12 moons, who didn�t notice the vast amount of publicity for the Voyager Space Probe in 1979 which discovered a whole lot of new moons, who haven�t noticed the subsequent discovery of several more since, who use reference books which are 25 years out of date, and who think that Jupiter still has only 12 moons instead of 60
23. Or for example: people who think that Saturn has 10 moons, who didn�t notice the vast amount of publicity for the Voyager Space Probe in 1981 which discovered a whole lot of new moons, who haven�t noticed the subsequent discovery of several more since, who use reference books which are 23 years out of date, and who think that Jupiter still has only 10 moons instead of 34
16. Racist people who think that �black� and �British� are mutually exclusive
17. The weather, because it is still hot and sweaty and uncomfortable here in London, and because all the lovely thunderstorms went elsewhere
18. Media people who refer to hot weather as �good�or �nice�
19.Innumerate people who pretend that there was a Year Zero and who falsely try to pretend that the new millennium started in 2000 rather than 2001
20. People who try to pretend that Nadia is a man and who don�t understand what the word �transsexual� means
21. People who set quiz questions without checking the correct answers properly
22. For example: people who think that Jupiter has 12 moons, who didn�t notice the vast amount of publicity for the Voyager Space Probe in 1979 which discovered a whole lot of new moons, who haven�t noticed the subsequent discovery of several more since, who use reference books which are 25 years out of date, and who think that Jupiter still has only 12 moons instead of 60
23. Or for example: people who think that Saturn has 10 moons, who didn�t notice the vast amount of publicity for the Voyager Space Probe in 1981 which discovered a whole lot of new moons, who haven�t noticed the subsequent discovery of several more since, who use reference books which are 23 years out of date, and who think that Jupiter still has only 10 moons instead of 34
24. Or for example: people who ask �who was the fourth Marx brother?� without realising that there were five not four, and who don�t specify whether they mean in order of age or in alphabetical order
25. People who refer to �Christian name� rather than �first name�
26. People who instinctively denounce anything that they disagree with as �political correctness gone mad� rather than giving proper reasons for their opposition
27. People who forget that �political correctness� (e.g. anti-racism, anti-bigotry, mutual respect, etc.) is a good thing in moderate proportions
28. The Countryside
29. Foxhunting
30. The person who deleted the website on which I posted a list of 44 of my pet hates about 2 years ago, thereby making it necessary for me to spend ages thinking up a new list instead of just copying it from that one again
31. People who think that we can solve complex social problems by simplistic kneejerk reactions
32. Republicans
33. Marxism
34. Leninism
35. Stalinism
36. Maoism
37. Kimism
38. Hoxhaism
39. The government of North Korea
40. Western apologists for the North Korean government who refer to North Korea as �democratic� without any sense of irony
41. Robert Mugabe
42. People who refer to homosexuality as �unnatural� thereby showing that they do not know the meaning of the word �unnatural�
43. Wasps
44. Moths, especially the ones who ate my old suit and made it necessary for me to buy a new one for my sister�s wedding
25. People who refer to �Christian name� rather than �first name�
26. People who instinctively denounce anything that they disagree with as �political correctness gone mad� rather than giving proper reasons for their opposition
27. People who forget that �political correctness� (e.g. anti-racism, anti-bigotry, mutual respect, etc.) is a good thing in moderate proportions
28. The Countryside
29. Foxhunting
30. The person who deleted the website on which I posted a list of 44 of my pet hates about 2 years ago, thereby making it necessary for me to spend ages thinking up a new list instead of just copying it from that one again
31. People who think that we can solve complex social problems by simplistic kneejerk reactions
32. Republicans
33. Marxism
34. Leninism
35. Stalinism
36. Maoism
37. Kimism
38. Hoxhaism
39. The government of North Korea
40. Western apologists for the North Korean government who refer to North Korea as �democratic� without any sense of irony
41. Robert Mugabe
42. People who refer to homosexuality as �unnatural� thereby showing that they do not know the meaning of the word �unnatural�
43. Wasps
44. Moths, especially the ones who ate my old suit and made it necessary for me to buy a new one for my sister�s wedding
45. Dust, for arrogantly and impertinently accumulating after I�ve hovered, thereby making it necessary for me to hoover again later
46. People who falsely try to pretend that opponents of the European Union are �anti-European�
47. People who can�t tell the difference between �Europe� (45 countries with 740 million people) and �European Union� (25 countries with 450 million people)
48. The European Union
49. People who refer to the Liberal Democrats as the �Liberals� or the �Liberal Party�
50. People who think that �liberal� and �do-gooder� are terms of abuse or criticism
51. Peanuts
52. The treacherous politicians from the Lib-Lab-Con-trick parties who are hell-bent on sacrificing our nation�s sovereignty and democracy to the wasteful, inefficient, expensive, corrupt and undemocratic EU
53. The extra 537 people in Florida who voted for George Bush
54. Newspapers which don�t report the results of elections properly
55. Hot weather making me itchy and sweaty
56. People who post questions about �tucking blanks into blanks�
57. People who refer to tanned skin as �healthy�
58. Golf
59. Anybody who is opposed to a society in which there is mutual respect and tolerance for a wide range of beliefs, cultures, religions and lifestyles
60. Anybody who dares to disagree with anything I think
46. People who falsely try to pretend that opponents of the European Union are �anti-European�
47. People who can�t tell the difference between �Europe� (45 countries with 740 million people) and �European Union� (25 countries with 450 million people)
48. The European Union
49. People who refer to the Liberal Democrats as the �Liberals� or the �Liberal Party�
50. People who think that �liberal� and �do-gooder� are terms of abuse or criticism
51. Peanuts
52. The treacherous politicians from the Lib-Lab-Con-trick parties who are hell-bent on sacrificing our nation�s sovereignty and democracy to the wasteful, inefficient, expensive, corrupt and undemocratic EU
53. The extra 537 people in Florida who voted for George Bush
54. Newspapers which don�t report the results of elections properly
55. Hot weather making me itchy and sweaty
56. People who post questions about �tucking blanks into blanks�
57. People who refer to tanned skin as �healthy�
58. Golf
59. Anybody who is opposed to a society in which there is mutual respect and tolerance for a wide range of beliefs, cultures, religions and lifestyles
60. Anybody who dares to disagree with anything I think
61. Morons who falsely try to pretend that people never went to the Moon
62. People who think that Lee Harvey Oswald did not kill JFK or who think that he did not act alone
63. The jurors who acquitted O.J. Simpson of murdering his wife and her friend, even though he was obviously guilty
64. People who falsely try to pretend that Proportional Representation was responsible for the rise of Hitler, and who do not seem to have noticed that Western European democracies using PR for the last 50 years have not elected any fascist governments
65. People who say �I was smacked as a child and it never did me any harm�, thereby immediately contradicting themselves
66. People who are trying to undermine the moral fabric of society
67. People who are trying to destroy civilisation
68. People who try to show off their anoraky knowledge of obscure facts by proclaiming that suicide is illegal, thereby clumsily not realising that it was legalised in 1961
69. People who try to show off their anoraky knowledge of obscure facts by proclaiming that heterosexual anal sex is illegal, thereby clumsily not realising that it was legalised in 1994
70. Old people moaning about �the youth of today� being to blame �for all of society�s ills�
71. People who say that �life should mean life� thereby ignoring the fact that it already does
72. The fact that it will be necessary to post this list in more than one section, due to the despotism and tyranny of the 2000 character limit
62. People who think that Lee Harvey Oswald did not kill JFK or who think that he did not act alone
63. The jurors who acquitted O.J. Simpson of murdering his wife and her friend, even though he was obviously guilty
64. People who falsely try to pretend that Proportional Representation was responsible for the rise of Hitler, and who do not seem to have noticed that Western European democracies using PR for the last 50 years have not elected any fascist governments
65. People who say �I was smacked as a child and it never did me any harm�, thereby immediately contradicting themselves
66. People who are trying to undermine the moral fabric of society
67. People who are trying to destroy civilisation
68. People who try to show off their anoraky knowledge of obscure facts by proclaiming that suicide is illegal, thereby clumsily not realising that it was legalised in 1961
69. People who try to show off their anoraky knowledge of obscure facts by proclaiming that heterosexual anal sex is illegal, thereby clumsily not realising that it was legalised in 1994
70. Old people moaning about �the youth of today� being to blame �for all of society�s ills�
71. People who say that �life should mean life� thereby ignoring the fact that it already does
72. The fact that it will be necessary to post this list in more than one section, due to the despotism and tyranny of the 2000 character limit
73. People who don�t know the difference between �England� and �Britain�
74. People who can�t tell the difference between the United Kingdom and Great Britain
75. People who assume that I�m heterosexual
76. People who think that the European Convention on Human Rights was created by the European Union, thereby ignoring the fact that the ECHR was created in 1950 and the EU was not formed until 1957
77. People who pompously and arrogantly have a notice on their front door saying �no leaflets� when I am delivering election leaflets, thereby ignoring the fact that they have a civic duty to read leaflets from election candidates in order to inform themselves of the issues involved
78. People in the supermarket queue in front of me who don�t even think of getting out their purse or wallet or money until the staff has finished doing all their things through the ping machine, thereby making it necessary for me to tut and breathe noisily in disapproval
79. The BNP, its racist thugs, members and voters
80. �Respect- The Unity Coalition� for choosing such a silly and obscure name which most non-political people would not understand
81. Jade Goody
82. People who falsely try to pretend that decimalisation (in 1971) was somehow responsible for the high inflation (1975-78)
83. Reactionary people who falsely try to pretend that people campaigning for humane prison conditions somehow do not care about the victims of crime
74. People who can�t tell the difference between the United Kingdom and Great Britain
75. People who assume that I�m heterosexual
76. People who think that the European Convention on Human Rights was created by the European Union, thereby ignoring the fact that the ECHR was created in 1950 and the EU was not formed until 1957
77. People who pompously and arrogantly have a notice on their front door saying �no leaflets� when I am delivering election leaflets, thereby ignoring the fact that they have a civic duty to read leaflets from election candidates in order to inform themselves of the issues involved
78. People in the supermarket queue in front of me who don�t even think of getting out their purse or wallet or money until the staff has finished doing all their things through the ping machine, thereby making it necessary for me to tut and breathe noisily in disapproval
79. The BNP, its racist thugs, members and voters
80. �Respect- The Unity Coalition� for choosing such a silly and obscure name which most non-political people would not understand
81. Jade Goody
82. People who falsely try to pretend that decimalisation (in 1971) was somehow responsible for the high inflation (1975-78)
83. Reactionary people who falsely try to pretend that people campaigning for humane prison conditions somehow do not care about the victims of crime
84. People who say that householders should be allowed to defend their house and family against intruders or burglars, thereby ignoring the fact that they are already allowed to do so
85. People who try to defend Tony Martin for murdering a burglar, thereby ignoring the fact that he used excessive force rather than reasonable force
86. Economics teachers
87. Sports commentators who can�t be bothered to learn the correct pronunciation of foreign names, and who say for example �Sjeng Sjalken� instead of �Sjeng Schalken�
88. People who think that the USA has got 52 states rather than 50
89. People who make jokes about the UK being (or becoming) the 51st (or 53rd) state
90. People who think that Australia (rather than Greenland) is the largest island in the world, thereby ignoring the fact that it is a continent
91. Motorists who moan about speed cameras being there to raise revenue from fines rather than to prevent speeding, thereby ignoring the fact that they wouldn�t have to pay any fines if they didn�t speed
92. People who refer to the former Albanian dictator as �Hoksa� instead of �Hoxha�
93. The fact that it is necessary to put in a load of < BR > HTML stuff in these answers instead of doing returns normally
94. The fact that the UKIP invited Tony Martin to its annual conference and gave him an enthusiastic standing ovation, as if he were a hero rather than a criminal
95. The fact that the UKIP selected Robert Kilroy-Silk as an election candidate, despite the fact that he left the BBC after making offensive remarks about Arabs, and yet supposedly being an anti-racist party
85. People who try to defend Tony Martin for murdering a burglar, thereby ignoring the fact that he used excessive force rather than reasonable force
86. Economics teachers
87. Sports commentators who can�t be bothered to learn the correct pronunciation of foreign names, and who say for example �Sjeng Sjalken� instead of �Sjeng Schalken�
88. People who think that the USA has got 52 states rather than 50
89. People who make jokes about the UK being (or becoming) the 51st (or 53rd) state
90. People who think that Australia (rather than Greenland) is the largest island in the world, thereby ignoring the fact that it is a continent
91. Motorists who moan about speed cameras being there to raise revenue from fines rather than to prevent speeding, thereby ignoring the fact that they wouldn�t have to pay any fines if they didn�t speed
92. People who refer to the former Albanian dictator as �Hoksa� instead of �Hoxha�
93. The fact that it is necessary to put in a load of < BR > HTML stuff in these answers instead of doing returns normally
94. The fact that the UKIP invited Tony Martin to its annual conference and gave him an enthusiastic standing ovation, as if he were a hero rather than a criminal
95. The fact that the UKIP selected Robert Kilroy-Silk as an election candidate, despite the fact that he left the BBC after making offensive remarks about Arabs, and yet supposedly being an anti-racist party
96. Motorists who get caught for speeding, and then say �the police should catch real criminals�, thereby ignoring the fact that speeding motorists are real criminals
97. TV presenters who say �We�ll see you next week� when in fact it will be me seeing them
98. Country bumpkins
99. People who falsely try to pretend that Peter Phillips is not the most gorgeous man in the universe
100. People who say �Van Gof� instead of �Van Gogh�
101. People who patronisingly refer to British soldiers abroad as �our boys� or �our lads�, thereby ignoring the fact that they are grown men and women
102. People who refer to �Croydon, Surrey� or �Bromley, Kent�, or who falsely try to pretend that Middlesex still exists, thereby showing that they have not noticed that Greater London was created forty years ago
103. Newsreaders suggesting that people have been �enjoying� the hot weather
104. The silly woman at Gay Pride a few years ago who said �yes� when I asked �is this seat available?� but then immediately changed her mind and said �oh sorry it�s taken� as soon as I sat down
105. People who try to show off their knowledge by self-importantly explaining that the word �nylon� is derived from �New York� and �London�, even though it isn�t
106. People who falsely try to pretend that the Channel Islands are part of the United Kingdom
107. Spanish governments for pretending that Gibraltar is part of Spain
108. People who pretend that Ceuta and Melilla are part of Morocco
109. People who commit atrocities such as female genital mutilation and pretend that it is in the name of Islam
97. TV presenters who say �We�ll see you next week� when in fact it will be me seeing them
98. Country bumpkins
99. People who falsely try to pretend that Peter Phillips is not the most gorgeous man in the universe
100. People who say �Van Gof� instead of �Van Gogh�
101. People who patronisingly refer to British soldiers abroad as �our boys� or �our lads�, thereby ignoring the fact that they are grown men and women
102. People who refer to �Croydon, Surrey� or �Bromley, Kent�, or who falsely try to pretend that Middlesex still exists, thereby showing that they have not noticed that Greater London was created forty years ago
103. Newsreaders suggesting that people have been �enjoying� the hot weather
104. The silly woman at Gay Pride a few years ago who said �yes� when I asked �is this seat available?� but then immediately changed her mind and said �oh sorry it�s taken� as soon as I sat down
105. People who try to show off their knowledge by self-importantly explaining that the word �nylon� is derived from �New York� and �London�, even though it isn�t
106. People who falsely try to pretend that the Channel Islands are part of the United Kingdom
107. Spanish governments for pretending that Gibraltar is part of Spain
108. People who pretend that Ceuta and Melilla are part of Morocco
109. People who commit atrocities such as female genital mutilation and pretend that it is in the name of Islam
110. People who hold their knife with the index finger along the top of the blade instead of holding it properly
111. Elderly female relatives who stick out their face at an angle as if they are expecting to be kissed in greeting
112. Relatives who say �Oh haven�t you grown� every time you visit
113. People who load up a whole load of food on their fork when it�s upside-down
114. People who think that going on holiday to places where it is hot and uncomfortable and where one is cut off from newspapers and domestic TV and news is somehow enjoyable or positive
115. People who propose ill-thought-out reactionary kneejerk actions against criminals and then confidently proclaim �and then they won�t do it again� even though history shows that many of them will do it again
116. My local supermarket for putting up the price of cheesy sandwich biscuits from 15p to 93p overnight
117. People who say �haar, faar, paar� instead of �hour, fire, power�
118. People who say �strenth� and �lenth� instead of �strength� and �length�
119. People who don�t write an ampersand correctly
120. People who don�t accept that �why not?� is sometimes a good enough reason on its own
121. People who do not pay attention to the wording of the famous riddle �that man�s father is my father�s son� and who falsely insist that the man is looking at a picture of himself rather than his son
122. People who think that viruses can be treated with antibiotics
111. Elderly female relatives who stick out their face at an angle as if they are expecting to be kissed in greeting
112. Relatives who say �Oh haven�t you grown� every time you visit
113. People who load up a whole load of food on their fork when it�s upside-down
114. People who think that going on holiday to places where it is hot and uncomfortable and where one is cut off from newspapers and domestic TV and news is somehow enjoyable or positive
115. People who propose ill-thought-out reactionary kneejerk actions against criminals and then confidently proclaim �and then they won�t do it again� even though history shows that many of them will do it again
116. My local supermarket for putting up the price of cheesy sandwich biscuits from 15p to 93p overnight
117. People who say �haar, faar, paar� instead of �hour, fire, power�
118. People who say �strenth� and �lenth� instead of �strength� and �length�
119. People who don�t write an ampersand correctly
120. People who don�t accept that �why not?� is sometimes a good enough reason on its own
121. People who do not pay attention to the wording of the famous riddle �that man�s father is my father�s son� and who falsely insist that the man is looking at a picture of himself rather than his son
122. People who think that viruses can be treated with antibiotics
123. Americans who incorrectly say �zee� instead of �zed�, or who can�t spell �aluminium� properly
124. People who think that �democracy� means the majority doing whatever it likes to the minority
125. People who have long hair flapping and dangling all over their face, apparently without realising that it is very uncomfortable
126. People who try to show off their knowledge of foreign languages by pronouncing Portuguese names according to the rules of Spanish pronunciation
127. Nostril hairs needing to be trimmed
128. People who talk about �going into Europe� when they mean �joining the Euro�, thereby showing that they think that the UK is in a different continent
124. People who think that �democracy� means the majority doing whatever it likes to the minority
125. People who have long hair flapping and dangling all over their face, apparently without realising that it is very uncomfortable
126. People who try to show off their knowledge of foreign languages by pronouncing Portuguese names according to the rules of Spanish pronunciation
127. Nostril hairs needing to be trimmed
128. People who talk about �going into Europe� when they mean �joining the Euro�, thereby showing that they think that the UK is in a different continent
My choices would be:
*Any one who goes on and on about the 23 things they want to put in Room 101. Boring..!!
*the endless adverts for insurance and loans on Channel 5.
*the developer of junk mail
*people who scream and swear at their kids
*traffic wardens!!
*slugs and snails...UGH!!
*the inventor of cling film..nasty stuff, can never find the end!!
We did this at work and all had to pick five things, mine were:
* Meat eating (to clarify, not people who eat meat, just the concept)
* Hayfever
* Period pains
* Mushrooms
* Robbie Williams
if I could add another it would be the chav idiots who shout "Red hair!" and similarly astute observations at me in the street. Yes it is red...and...?
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