pet hates

[drussila]

 What Pet Hates do Answer Bank members have. Here are a few of mine, Queue jumpers, junk mail, unsolicited phone calls, canvassers, people discussing their private life or texting( the clicking noise gets on my nerves) on public transport and people standing in the middle of shop isles when I'm in a hurry! 

[andy hughes]

That creaking sound you can hear is the AB floodgates opening!

OK - here goes mine - in no particular order -

People who blow their noses in public. People who talk loudly into mobile phones. People who say 'Thank you' back, when you say 'Thank you' for something. People who are waiting for you to stop talking so they can start. Illiteracy. Binge drinkers. Groups of lads who sing and make a noise to make sure they are noticed. Kids driving 'E' reg. Novas with three grand's worth of stereo played at ear-bleeding volume with their windows open, even though it's blowing a blizzard. Dad rock - Keane / Coldplay and so on. Jazz lite - Michael Buble, Jamie Cullum, Nora Jones.Politicians who answer through a laugh as though the question is only just intelligent enough to merit a response - see Robin Cook. Wrong number diallers who pause for a second while they realise you are not who they should be speaking to, then hang up without speaking.People who have no time to observe 'give way' regulations. Kensington tractors hogging town roads. The fact that my CD burner has packed up.

Oh, and princes who don't know the difference between having a laugh and offering wholesale offence to the world in general.

Grumpy old man? Moi?

[Dom Tuk]

 television programmes like Horizon that dont really have any visuals to show when talking about the cosmos so they show a train entering a tunnel and crap like that. When will they realise that these programmes are for the radio and visuals are not really needed.

[sammy snake]

People who cough without covering their mouth, people with no table manners, pensioners stopping dead in the middle of a busy high street to speak to another old dear coming the other way (causing you to walk slap bang into the back of them).  Young mothers trying to push buggies round clothes shops where the aisles are not wide enough for people, never mind buggies/pushchairs, taxi drivers who think they own the road, people who don't understand the meaning of '10 Items Or Less' queues in Tesco's, cashiers who serve such people without mentioning the 20 items in their basket.....

I could go on all night ( I think I'm turning into my mum!!!)

[Ray The Grey]

Shoe/Clothes shopping with women (wife, mother sister, etc).  People who stand in a queue for ten minutes then look at the menu in fast food places when they reach the counter. Presenters on TV who are only there becuase they look OK and can read an autocue. Inane soaps.  Kids advertising. Bigotry. Enough...

[PurplePixie]

Lazy able bodied people who park in disabled parking bays...because "they're only going to be a minute". When people start to say something, stop & then say "oh it doesn't matter". Spit on pavements. people dropping litter. dog sh*t on my shoes. Hearing the phone ringing when I'm standing outside the front door having just locked up ready to go out...rushing back in only to hear it stop ringing as soon as I pick it up. paper cuts. Other peoples smoke making my clothes & hair stink. Running out of tomato ketchup.Standing next to someone in a queue who hasn't heard of deodorant.

[smudge]

PurplePixie - You've pipped me to the post on most things - also dog sh!te outside our drive! I'll think of some more things tomorrow morning - that's if AB Ed doesn't ban this post by then!

[bernardo]

1. People who didn�t vote for Stuart Wilson to win Big Brother 5

2. People who didn�t vote for Scott Turner to win Big Brother 4

3. People who didn�t vote for Alex Sibley to win Big Brother 3

4. People who kept on voting to evict various other people in Big Brother 3 instead of evicting Jade Goody at the earliest opportunity

5. People who falsely try to pretend that Big Brother is anything other than a very important and highly cultured intellectual and sociological phenomenon

6. People who walk slowly along the middle of the pavement or corridor without moving to one side to let people pass

7. People pretending to be polite by smiling artificially with their mouth closed, like Bob Monkhouse did

8.Adverts or TV programmes which have the trickling sound of drinks being poured into a glass, especially with ice cubes rattling

9. Television programmes in which a telephone incorrectly goes �ring ring pause ring ring pause ring ring pause� instead of correctly going �ring ring pause pause pause ring ring pause pause pause ring ring�

10. People who falsely try to pretend that Christopher Parker on �EastEnders� is more attractive than James Alexandrou

11. People who phone in to local radio and start off by saying �I�m not racist but�� and then say something racist

12. Supermarket checkout staff who start putting my things into plastic bags without giving me the chance to pack them in my own re-used bags which I have brought with me for the purpose

13. People who write �it�s� or �who�s� when it should be �its� or �whose�, or vice versa

14. People who say �you and I� when it should be �you and me�, or vice versa

[bernardo]

15. Homophobic people who can�t tell the difference between love and sex, and who condemn gay people on the basis of the sexual activities of a minority of gay men

16. Racist people who think that �black� and �British� are mutually exclusive

17. People who self-importantly say � wait for it � �wait for it� as if they are expecting me to be astonished by the thing which comes next, even if it is not in fact remarkable.

18. Media people who refer to hot weather as �good� or �nice�

19. Innumerate people who pretend that there was a Year Zero and who falsely try to pretend that the new millennium started in 2000 rather than 2001

20. People who try to pretend that Nadia is a man and who don�t understand what the word �transsexual� means

21. People who set quiz questions without checking the correct answers properly

22. For example: people who think that Jupiter has 12 moons, who didn�t notice the vast amount of publicity for the Voyager Space Probe in 1979 which discovered a whole lot of new moons, who haven�t noticed the subsequent discovery of several more since, who use reference books which are 25 years out of date, and who think that Jupiter still has only 12 moons instead of 60

23. Or for example: people who think that Saturn has 10 moons, who didn�t notice the vast amount of publicity for the Voyager Space Probe in 1981 which discovered a whole lot of new moons, who haven�t noticed the subsequent discovery of several more since, who use reference books which are 23 years out of date, and who think that Jupiter still has only 10 moons instead of 34

[bernardo]

24. Or for example: people who ask �who was the fourth Marx brother?� without realising that there were five not four, and who don�t specify whether they mean in order of age or in alphabetical order

25. People who refer to �Christian name� rather than �first name�

26. People who instinctively denounce anything that they disagree with as �political correctness gone mad� rather than giving proper reasons for their opposition

27. People who forget that �political correctness� (e.g. anti-racism, anti-bigotry, mutual respect, etc.) is a good thing in moderate proportions

28. The Countryside

29. Foxhunting

30. The person who deleted the website on which I posted a list of 44 of my pet hates about 2 years ago, thereby making it necessary for me to spend ages thinking up a new list instead of just copying it from that one again

31. People who think that we can solve complex social problems by simplistic kneejerk reactions

32. Republicans

33. Marxism

34. Leninism

35. Stalinism

36. Maoism

37. Kimism

38. Hoxhaism

39. The government of North Korea

40. Western apologists for the North Korean government who refer to North Korea as �democratic� without any sense of irony

[bernardo]

41. Robert Mugabe

42. People who refer to homosexuality as �unnatural� thereby showing that they do not know the meaning of the word �unnatural�

43. Wasps

44. Moths, especially the ones who ate my old suit and made it necessary for me to buy a new one for my sister�s wedding

45. Dust, for arrogantly and impertinently accumulating after I�ve hovered, thereby making it necessary for me to hoover again later

46. People who falsely try to pretend that opponents of the European Union are �anti-European�

47. People who can�t tell the difference between �Europe� (45 countries with 740 million people) and �European Union� (25 countries with 450 million people)

 48. The European Union

49. People who refer to the Liberal Democrats as the �Liberals� or the �Liberal Party�

50. People who think that �liberal� and �do-gooder� are terms of abuse or criticism

51. Peanuts

52. The treacherous politicians from the Lib-Lab-Con-trick parties who are hell-bent on sacrificing our nation�s sovereignty and democracy to the wasteful, inefficient, expensive, corrupt and undemocratic EU

53. The extra 537 people in Florida who voted for George Bush

54. Newspapers which don�t report the results of elections properly

55. Hot weather making me itchy and sweaty

[bernardo]

56. People who post questions about "tucking blanks into blanks"

57. People who refer to tanned skin as "healthy"

58. Golf

59. Anybody who is opposed to a society in which there is mutual respect and tolerance for a wide range of beliefs, cultures, religions and lifestyles

60. Anybody who dares to disagree with anything I think

61. Morons who falsely try to pretend that people never went to the Moon

62. People who think that Lee Harvey Oswald did not kill JFK or who think that he did not act alone

63. The jurors who acquitted O.J. Simpson of murdering his wife and her friend,
[Edited for legal reasons - AB Editor]

64. People who falsely try to pretend that Proportional Representation was responsible for the rise of Hitler, and who do not seem to have noticed that Western European democracies using PR for the last 50 years have not elected any fascist governments

65. People who say "I was smacked as a child and it never did me any harm", thereby immediately contradicting themselves

66. People who are trying to undermine the moral fabric of society

67. People who are trying to destroy civilisation

68. People who try to show off their anoraky knowledge of obscure facts by proclaiming that suicide is illegal, thereby clumsily not realising that it was legalised in 1961

69. People who try to show off their anoraky knowledge of obscure facts by proclaiming that heterosexual anal sex is illegal, thereby clumsily not realising that it was legalised in 1994

70. Old people moaning about "the youth of today" being to blame "for all of society's ills"

71. People who say that "life should mean life" thereby ignoring the fact that it already does

72. The fact that it will be necessary to post this list in more than one section, due to the despotism and tyranny of the 2000 character limit

[bernardo]

73. People who don�t know the difference between �England� and �Britain�

74. People who can�t tell the difference between the United Kingdom and Great Britain

75. People who assume that I�m heterosexual

76. People who think that the European Convention on Human Rights was created by the European
Union, thereby ignoring the fact that the ECHR was created in 1950 and the EU was not formed until 1957

77. People who pompously and arrogantly have a notice on their front door saying �no leaflets� when I am delivering election leaflets, thereby ignoring the fact that they have a civic duty to read leaflets from election candidates in order to inform themselves of the issues involved

78. People in the supermarket queue in front of me who don�t even think of getting out their purse or wallet or money until the staff has finished doing all their things through the ping machine, thereby making it necessary for me to tut and breathe noisily in disapproval

79. The BNP, its racist thugs, members and voters
80. �Respect- The Unity Coalition� for choosing such a silly and obscure name which most non-political people would not understand

81. Jade Goody

82. People who falsely try to pretend that decimalisation (in 1971) was somehow responsible for the high inflation (1975-78)

83. Reactionary people who falsely try to pretend that people campaigning for humane prison conditions somehow do not care about the victims of crime

84. People who say that householders should be allowed to defend their house and family against intruders or burglars, thereby ignoring the fact that they are already allowed to do so

85. People who try to defend Tony Martin for murdering a burglar, thereby ignoring the fact that he used excessive force rather than reasonable force

86. Economics teachers

[bernardo]

87. Sports commentators who can�t be bothered to learn the correct pronunciation of foreign names, and who say for example �Sjeng Sjalken� instead of �Sjeng Schalken�

88. People who think that the USA has got 52 states rather than 50

89. People who make jokes about the UK being (or becoming) the 51st (or 53rd) state

90. People who think that Australia (rather than Greenland) is the largest island in the world, thereby ignoring the fact that it is a continent

91. Motorists who moan about speed cameras being there to raise revenue from fines rather than to prevent speeding, thereby ignoring the fact that they wouldn�t have to pay any fines if they didn�t speed




92. People who refer to the former Albanian dictator as �Hoksa� instead of �Hoxha�

93. Women who have high heeled shoes and who therefore have clomp along the pavement awkwardly and uncomfortably instead of walking normally

94. The fact that the UKIP invited Tony Martin to its annual conference and gave him an enthusiastic standing ovation, as if he were a hero rather than a criminal

95. The fact that the UKIP selected Robert Kilroy-Silk as an election candidate, despite the fact that he left the BBC after making offensive remarks about Arabs, and yet supposedly being an anti-racist party

96. Motorists who get caught for speeding, and then say �the police should catch real criminals�, thereby ignoring the fact that speeding motorists are real criminals

97. TV presenters who say �We�ll see you next week� when in fact it will be me seeing them

98. Country bumpkins

99. People who falsely try to pretend that Peter Phillips is not the most gorgeous man in the universe

100. People who say �Van Gof� instead of �Van Gogh�

[bernardo]

101. People who patronisingly refer to British soldiers abroad as �our boys� or �our lads�, thereby ignoring the fact that they are grown men and women

102. People who refer to �Croydon, Surrey� or �Bromley, Kent�, or who falsely try to pretend that Middlesex still exists, thereby showing that they have not noticed that Greater London was created forty years ago

103. Newsreaders suggesting that people have been �enjoying� the hot weather

104. The silly woman at Gay Pride a few years ago who said �yes� when I asked �is this seat available?� but then immediately changed her mind and said �oh sorry it�s taken� as soon as I sat down

105. People who try to show off their knowledge by self-importantly explaining that the word �nylon� is derived from �New York� and �London�, even though it isn�t

106. People who falsely try to pretend that the Channel Islands are part of the United Kingdom

107. Spanish governments for pretending that Gibraltar is part of Spain

108. People who pretend that Ceuta and Melilla are part of Morocco

109. People who commit atrocities such as female genital mutilation and pretend that it is in the name of Islam

110. People who hold their knife with the index finger along the top of the blade instead of holding it properly

111. Elderly female relatives who stick out their face at an angle as if they are expecting to be kissed in greeting

112. Relatives who say �Oh haven�t you grown� every time you visit

113. People who load up a whole load of food on their fork when it�s upside-down

114. People who think that going on holiday to places where it is hot and uncomfortable and where one is cut off from newspapers and domestic TV and news is somehow enjoyable or positive

[bernardo]

115. People who propose ill-thought-out reactionary kneejerk actions against criminals and then confidently proclaim �and then they won�t do it again� even though history shows that many of them will do it again

116. My local supermarket for putting up the price of cheesy sandwich biscuits from 15p to 93p overnight

117. People who say �haar, faar, paar� instead of �hour, fire, power�

118. People who say �strenth� and �lenth� instead of �strength� and �length�

119. People who don�t write an ampersand correctly

120. People who don�t accept that �why not?� is sometimes a good enough reason on its own

121. People who do not pay attention to the wording of the famous riddle �that man�s father is my father�s son� and who falsely insist that the man is looking at a picture of himself rather than his son

122. People who think that viruses can be treated with antibiotics

123. Americans who incorrectly say �zee� instead of �zed�, or who can�t spell �aluminium� properly

124. People who think that �democracy� means the majority doing whatever it likes to the minority

125. People who have long hair flapping and dangling all over their face, apparently without realising that it is very uncomfortable

126. People who try to show off their knowledge of foreign languages by pronouncing Portuguese names according to the rules of Spanish pronunciation



127. Nostril hairs needing to be trimmed

128. People who talk about �going into Europe� when they mean �joining the Euro�, thereby showing that they think that the UK is in a different continent

129. People who perpetuate the myth that each year in the life of a dog is equivalent to seven years in the life of a human, and who proudly proclaim that their 15-year-old dog is �105�, thereby ignoring the fact that 15 is a normal and common age for a dog to live to

[bernardo]

130. People who give away the story in a film or TV programme before I�ve had a chance to watch it

131. People who incorrectly give the same length to the two syllables of �mother� when they are singing �Land of Hope and Glory� even though it should be half a note and one-and-a-half notes

132. People who say that they �eat� soup, even though it is a liquid

133. People who talk about people �sporting� a tie instead of wearing it

134. People who talk about people �enjoying� food instead of eating it

135. People who say �hari-kari� instead of �hara-kiri�

136. People who say �kari-oki� instead of �kara-oke�

137. People who say �Ley-os� instead of �Laos�

138. People who try to get onto trains or into lifts before letting the other people off first

139. People who incorrectly sing �For the sake of auld lang syne� instead of �For auld lang syne�

140. People who think that Boxing Day is sometimes not on 26th December

141. People who insanely pretend that a list of 141 pet hates is somehow excessive or greedy

[Ewood27]

Apart from that though, bernardo, you're fairly happy, yes?

[Wispy68]

People who:

Spit plegm on the pavement

Pick their noses in the car (thinking that no-one can see them)

Don't pick up their dogs' poo

Walk past peoles houses shouting after a night on the beer

Like to let the world know that they're wearing a thong

Speak or sing in a babyish voice (it ain't sexy!!)

Walk around as though the'yre on a catwalk

Boast about their drug taking

Speak loudly into their mobile phones 

Don't acknowledge you when you give way to them

Let their children run riot in restaurants

Treat the road like a pavement and deliberately take their time crossing

Answer the phone in a 'singy/whiney' voice (especially the receptionists at my local council offices)

Who still haven't realised how stupid they sound when they speak as though every sentence is a question

Vandalise cars

Chew loudly (especially when it's in my ear, while standing in a queue)

Act as though they're the only people in the world to have had children and talk about nothing else

Can't think of any more...for now!

[keen2learn]

Way to go, Bernardo! I laughed still my nose ran. However, can't resist a few additions -

People who wait until all their goods have passed through the checkout before it occurs to them them that they will be expected to pay, and start unzipping their bags and rummaging for their purses.........

People who are bothered by other people's mobiles, whether it's texting (come on, get a life! how petty is that?) or speaking. Make a note - it's only a conversation!!! If there were both parties within earshot, you wouldnt be irritated because people were daring to converse within earshot. Or would you......?

People who punctuate their prose with lines of dots as if to indicate a raft of deeply significant additions they could make if they wanted to.