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do you have a pet gripe, somethat that makes you
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annoyed, irked, or just plain....... maybe more than one.
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backpackers on the bus, common sense should dictate you take the thing off, no, so when bus jolts, they swing round like orang utangs, and end up clouting you with the bag, you end up down other end of bus, and then of course, there are the baggers of seats. I wanted to sit down, only one seat vacant, but would the damn woman move her bag, i asked politely, she didnt move, i realised she had saved it for her mate two stops down.
Yes! Bluddy stupid shop assistants!
You buy something that costs 99p, hand them a quid, and they reply with "Here's your 1p change" or even One Pence change!
When spoken, it's a penny! Pence is plural (meaning more than one) and p is a written abbreviation, as in £sd or £p! They wouldn't think of offering a Libra change out of a tenner, would they?
</Rant>
Quick, someone take this soapbox!
You buy something that costs 99p, hand them a quid, and they reply with "Here's your 1p change" or even One Pence change!
When spoken, it's a penny! Pence is plural (meaning more than one) and p is a written abbreviation, as in £sd or £p! They wouldn't think of offering a Libra change out of a tenner, would they?
</Rant>
Quick, someone take this soapbox!
Here are a few of my regular irritations:
'People who don't know how to operate a pavement':
Walking into town in a brisk and predictable fashion, I often find myself *counting* the number of people who saunter directly into my path or spread themselves across the entire width of the path in such a way that I can't pass them without bodily contact. The same sort of people are often to be found standing motionless, gabbing to their dopey-looking friends RIGHT in the middle of a doorway or other public thoroughfare when there is plenty of other space nearby.
'Zebra Crossing Attitude People':
People who choose to walk ridiculously slowly over a zebra crossing when you stop the car to let them cross. It's as if they're doing it on purpose because they've failed their driving test once too often.
'The Centre Lane Owner's Club':
There's always one. The motorway is quiet, traffic pretty thinned out and relaxed and there s//he is occupying the middle lane for absolutely no good reason. The pillock is going the SAME SPEED as the few people dotted along the inside lane, so you have to overtake two people side by side to get in front of them ...again and again.
You can sit behind them for hours and flash your lights but will they move ? ...Will they fvck.
'After Dinner Smokers'
"I've already scoffed my meal, you're still eating but fvck you, I'm going to light up without asking and blow my toxic fumes all over you while you struggle to taste that lemon meringue pie".
Mind you, if someone decides to muster up the manners to ask before foisting their smelly unappetising habit on me here's how the conversation goes:
"Excuse me, do you mind if I smoke?"
"Not at all, do you mind if I w*nk?"
...there are plenty more !
'People who don't know how to operate a pavement':
Walking into town in a brisk and predictable fashion, I often find myself *counting* the number of people who saunter directly into my path or spread themselves across the entire width of the path in such a way that I can't pass them without bodily contact. The same sort of people are often to be found standing motionless, gabbing to their dopey-looking friends RIGHT in the middle of a doorway or other public thoroughfare when there is plenty of other space nearby.
'Zebra Crossing Attitude People':
People who choose to walk ridiculously slowly over a zebra crossing when you stop the car to let them cross. It's as if they're doing it on purpose because they've failed their driving test once too often.
'The Centre Lane Owner's Club':
There's always one. The motorway is quiet, traffic pretty thinned out and relaxed and there s//he is occupying the middle lane for absolutely no good reason. The pillock is going the SAME SPEED as the few people dotted along the inside lane, so you have to overtake two people side by side to get in front of them ...again and again.
You can sit behind them for hours and flash your lights but will they move ? ...Will they fvck.
'After Dinner Smokers'
"I've already scoffed my meal, you're still eating but fvck you, I'm going to light up without asking and blow my toxic fumes all over you while you struggle to taste that lemon meringue pie".
Mind you, if someone decides to muster up the manners to ask before foisting their smelly unappetising habit on me here's how the conversation goes:
"Excuse me, do you mind if I smoke?"
"Not at all, do you mind if I w*nk?"
...there are plenty more !
"Fog-Light People"
People who go out at night time and insist on having their back foglights on when it's not foggy. No amount of frantic flashing makes any difference, I caught up with one once (at some traffic lights in Epsom High Street) and yelled out of my window letting them know they'd LEFT their foglights on, the answer I got was totally unintelligable and I remained stuck behind them for several more miles blinking in the glare of their unnecessary lights.
People who go out at night time and insist on having their back foglights on when it's not foggy. No amount of frantic flashing makes any difference, I caught up with one once (at some traffic lights in Epsom High Street) and yelled out of my window letting them know they'd LEFT their foglights on, the answer I got was totally unintelligable and I remained stuck behind them for several more miles blinking in the glare of their unnecessary lights.
"National Curriculum Regulation Tw/-\t - Speak"
There are certain words and phrases that seem to have become 'regulatory' terms in schools. I assume they have been accepted as 'tried and tested' by some schools authority, probably based on some load of old b*llocks some American child-psychologists have 'pioneered' and our beloved Uncle Sam @rse-licking government has lapped it up and forced it on our schools whether they want it or not.
There are certain words and phrases that seem to have become 'regulatory' terms in schools. I assume they have been accepted as 'tried and tested' by some schools authority, probably based on some load of old b*llocks some American child-psychologists have 'pioneered' and our beloved Uncle Sam @rse-licking government has lapped it up and forced it on our schools whether they want it or not.
You just reminded me Cupid....
"Cat haters"
They always give the same reasons for justifying their preference to dogs:
"Cats sh!t all over the place!"
No they bloody don't, not only do they bury their faeces but they find a proper earthy place, DIG A HOLE and bury it !
Dogs on the other hand just bab all over the place and (if you're lucky) scuff a bit of grass at it !
"Cats ? Ugh! nasty smelly things!"
Cats ? Smelly ? ...Stroke a dog and sniff your hand - it will usually smell of a combination of mankey lanolin and stagnant pond-water, worse if they're in the habit of rolling in excrement (which they often are). You can BURY YOUR NOSE into a cat's fur and unless they are VERY geriatric or ill, they smell of nothing worse than freshly laundered jumpers.
"Cats are disloyal and unaffectionate"
What utter baloney, cats are very affectionate when they CHOOSE to be, their affections and mood changes are just more subtle.
...and they eat less and don't chew wallpaper.
So there :-p
"Cat haters"
They always give the same reasons for justifying their preference to dogs:
"Cats sh!t all over the place!"
No they bloody don't, not only do they bury their faeces but they find a proper earthy place, DIG A HOLE and bury it !
Dogs on the other hand just bab all over the place and (if you're lucky) scuff a bit of grass at it !
"Cats ? Ugh! nasty smelly things!"
Cats ? Smelly ? ...Stroke a dog and sniff your hand - it will usually smell of a combination of mankey lanolin and stagnant pond-water, worse if they're in the habit of rolling in excrement (which they often are). You can BURY YOUR NOSE into a cat's fur and unless they are VERY geriatric or ill, they smell of nothing worse than freshly laundered jumpers.
"Cats are disloyal and unaffectionate"
What utter baloney, cats are very affectionate when they CHOOSE to be, their affections and mood changes are just more subtle.
...and they eat less and don't chew wallpaper.
So there :-p
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