ChatterBank0 min ago
Absolutely Gutted - Relationship
68 Answers
Myself and this girl went to the same school together. I was a year above her and I really liked her but I never had the guts to tell her any thing. Last year she added me on Facebook and I got so excited but we still didn't talk much but over the past two weeks we have been talking via Blackberry Messenger and we decided we would meet up on Monday (Just gone)
So I got the train and met her, we went out for a Coffee then to a Weatherspoons for a couple of pints then for a nice walk up the canal then to another bar for something to eat.
At the end, I gave her a kiss and a hug and left and got the train home.
On the Monday I was supposed to get her a rose but I totally forgot to last night I found her address and organized 12 roses to be sent to her house and I text her earlier asking her if shes going to be home tomorrow and she kept asking why so I eventually told her and she told me to cancel it, then deleted me of Blackberry Messenger and Facebook because of it. She said I was coming on to strong and that I was a 'creep' for finding her address even though it's publicly available on the internet.
She has a boyfriend and I know this, I went to see her as a friend and nothing else, the kiss was just a friend kiss and that was it. Herself and her Boyfriend don't get a long and have loads of problems and she said to me to wait till after Christmas and New Year to see if anything would happen between us. I was hopefull but if nothing happened that would be ok, just being friends would be good.
Then she goes and does this when I was just wanting to send her some roses, what's wrong with that? I said I would get her this necklace for Christmas (as I do with most friends) and she said that's too weird too.
I'm lost for words, I feel sick because of this! what did I do wrong :(
So I got the train and met her, we went out for a Coffee then to a Weatherspoons for a couple of pints then for a nice walk up the canal then to another bar for something to eat.
At the end, I gave her a kiss and a hug and left and got the train home.
On the Monday I was supposed to get her a rose but I totally forgot to last night I found her address and organized 12 roses to be sent to her house and I text her earlier asking her if shes going to be home tomorrow and she kept asking why so I eventually told her and she told me to cancel it, then deleted me of Blackberry Messenger and Facebook because of it. She said I was coming on to strong and that I was a 'creep' for finding her address even though it's publicly available on the internet.
She has a boyfriend and I know this, I went to see her as a friend and nothing else, the kiss was just a friend kiss and that was it. Herself and her Boyfriend don't get a long and have loads of problems and she said to me to wait till after Christmas and New Year to see if anything would happen between us. I was hopefull but if nothing happened that would be ok, just being friends would be good.
Then she goes and does this when I was just wanting to send her some roses, what's wrong with that? I said I would get her this necklace for Christmas (as I do with most friends) and she said that's too weird too.
I'm lost for words, I feel sick because of this! what did I do wrong :(
Answers
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No best answer has yet been selected by TheSuburbs. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.you did exactly what she said - came on too strong.
this was not a date but sending a dozen red roses is not 'just sending her a few flowers' - its what lovers do - its the biggest cliche of a love gesture there is!
and yes looking up her address is a bit strange - as if you were that close you would know it- or she'd tell you if you asked ... you clearly hardly know her.
she has a boyfriend and expects you to respect that regardless of your opinion on the state of her relationship
just leave her alone for a bit... have minimal contact - dont buy her xmas presents - you said yourself thats for your mates - she isnt really close enough to you to buy gifts for.
send an xmas card with a simple greeting - and leave it at that.
dont do all that 'casual' contact, where you pretend its an innocent reason and fake chance meeting stuff - as its a dead giveaway.
let her contact you.
this was not a date but sending a dozen red roses is not 'just sending her a few flowers' - its what lovers do - its the biggest cliche of a love gesture there is!
and yes looking up her address is a bit strange - as if you were that close you would know it- or she'd tell you if you asked ... you clearly hardly know her.
she has a boyfriend and expects you to respect that regardless of your opinion on the state of her relationship
just leave her alone for a bit... have minimal contact - dont buy her xmas presents - you said yourself thats for your mates - she isnt really close enough to you to buy gifts for.
send an xmas card with a simple greeting - and leave it at that.
dont do all that 'casual' contact, where you pretend its an innocent reason and fake chance meeting stuff - as its a dead giveaway.
let her contact you.
Awww. You sound like a really nice guy... up until the bit where you say you found her address on the internet.
*STALKER ALERT*STALKER ALERT*
Seriously though, you sound as though you had good intentions, but it does come across as a bit, well, weird. (I'm just being honest)
I would say, leave it a little bit, until after the new year, and then message her again. If she met you for a drink/lunch then she's obviously interested. You just probably scared the life out of her with the whole "I know where you live" thing.
Chin up buddy. It'll all be ok :-)
*STALKER ALERT*STALKER ALERT*
Seriously though, you sound as though you had good intentions, but it does come across as a bit, well, weird. (I'm just being honest)
I would say, leave it a little bit, until after the new year, and then message her again. If she met you for a drink/lunch then she's obviously interested. You just probably scared the life out of her with the whole "I know where you live" thing.
Chin up buddy. It'll all be ok :-)
You say "relationship" in your heading, but you don't have a relationship - and she's going out with someone else. The flowers and necklace thing is far too much, far too soon. Back off. She's deleted your friend status - you're acting far too pushy. Whether or not she and her current man don't get on, it's not your business yet. Leave it, see what happens if you do.
send a happy new year text (at new year, obviously!), see what you get back. If you do get to see her again, apologise for coming on too strong, just explain that you've always fancied her and had been over-optimistic that she fancied the pants off you! Lighten the situation, laugh with her.
You both had a few drinks? It's none to surprising what alcohol can do. Maybe her relationship isn't going to well, she needed a shoulder to cry on. Maybe she said that to test the water, because she likes you too?
Roses, necklaces, finding out addresses.....woman liked to be spoilt, but the smell of desperation is off-putting. Try being yourself, I'm sure that'd be the winner
You both had a few drinks? It's none to surprising what alcohol can do. Maybe her relationship isn't going to well, she needed a shoulder to cry on. Maybe she said that to test the water, because she likes you too?
Roses, necklaces, finding out addresses.....woman liked to be spoilt, but the smell of desperation is off-putting. Try being yourself, I'm sure that'd be the winner
it sounds like a throwaway comment - she wasn actually asking you to get her flowers!
if you were to follow through you should have brought her a single rose next time you saw her - for an 'in-joke'... you sent her a dozen and then went on at her about when shed be in to get them!
she may have even thought you were going to turn up...
if you were to follow through you should have brought her a single rose next time you saw her - for an 'in-joke'... you sent her a dozen and then went on at her about when shed be in to get them!
she may have even thought you were going to turn up...
That's different, suburbs - finding out where someone lives and overwhelming her with gifts is not comfortable for a woman. I agree with the girl, you're coming on too strong.
Got something personal against Bluestone, have you? Insulting people when you've only been a member a fortnight is not a very friendly thing to do.
Got something personal against Bluestone, have you? Insulting people when you've only been a member a fortnight is not a very friendly thing to do.