Why Is There Such Controversy Around Same-Sex Marriages

[Shanice_101]

Why do people kick up a big fuss about 2 people from the same gender wanting to get married? Isn't all love just the same ?

[jake-the-peg]

We'll have to agree to differ on that jomfl

I find the subtleties and evolution of the meanings of words a source of great facination - we use so many such adapted words every day without even realising

Silly once meant Holy for example

You can't sit on a linguistic throne trying to hold back the tide to a standard you personally were brought up with

(though I've yet to say 'Can I *get* a steak' in a restaurant I'm flinching less and less!

[jno]

and can gay marriages involve two women? After all, the abbreviation GLBT distinguishes "gay" from "lesbian".

[Old_Geezer]

Rights don't really come into it. Secular law was already recognising same sex relationships. This is purely a definition thing.

[LazyGun]

I am quite happy to see words co-opted or redefined. All part of lifes rich pageantry and all that, although it might get a little confusing :)

And I must admit, i thought the word gay as applied to homosexuality, covered both male and female variants. Live and Learn....

I would be quite happy to use the word gay as in its older meanings though, if only to be controversial... :)

[jomifl]

Jake, I expect if the word 'marriage' proves inadequate in it's new multifunction role new words will have to be invented to make up for the deficiencies. Let's hope it isn't the Sun wot duzzit :-)

[naomi24]

LG, //Churches should grow up, and recognise that if they wish to retain their mass attraction, they need to move with the times...//

They can’t. The bible specifically forbids sexual interaction between people of the same gender. The best they can do is keep their noses out of something that doesn’t affect them in any way and allow the rest of society to move with the times.

[Octavius]

I went to a gay wedding a couple of years back and as far as I am concerned, it was a wedding and they were married. Why people are so hung up on the words is beyond me. I know it has legal ramifications, but I think to tag any ownership to it is beyond ridiculous.

[naomi24]

I have gay friends who are 'married', and one set have adopted two beautiful little children who, instead of being destined for pretty miserable lives, are now treasured within a happily contented family circle - grandmas and all. I can't see the problem.

[Octavius]

And when I say gay, they were female.

[beso]

If words are to be owned by the original meaning then the church had better relinquish Easter which is the name of an ancient fertility festival and whose origin is absolutely noting to do with a story about torturing a man to death.

[jim360]

For all that, it does redefine marriage to open it up to same-sex marriage. I'm not sure that this really matters too much, except maybe legally. But it's understandable perhaps why some people are a bit concerned, as a redefinition of marriage has some effect on the definition of their own relationships.

In the long run this won't matter, though.

[LazyGun]

Well - it only redefines marriage in those jurisdictions where marriage is expressly detailed as being between a man and a woman, and/or where marriage is presented as being for the purpose of procreation.

So the redefinition that you talk about amounts to removing an obstruction based around gender,and an acknowledgement that people get married for more than or even other than raising children.

None of those who have raised objections or qualms have been able to articulate exactly what it is about gay marriage that threatens or demeans or diminishes their own marriage...

[jim360]

I don't think they have either. I was, in the main, quoting someone else.

Pretty much every time I think about this I change my mind. This probably says more about me than it does about the rights and wrongs of same-sex marriages.

Someone suggested that the institution of marriage was hurt rather a lot more by certain celebrities who rush into less-than-a-year-long "marriages" than by a pair of loving men or women living together for a long time. I think that's the clincher for me. But I still know I'll change my mind the next time I think about it...

[LazyGun]

Personally, i think the value of the institution of marriage is devalued far more by a casual and superficial approach than it is damaged by same-sex participants...

In our society, Churches have become the default venue for the ceremony of marriage - but i do not believe that gives religions the right to define who is eligible to marry and impose the various restrictions around it, although I am sure they would be reluctant to relinquish their control - since marriage is one of the major signposts on lifes highway - hatched, matched and dispatched, its one of those occasions where they can get a full-ish house.

And Naomi is probably right to identify religions reluctance to "re-interpret" their holy scriptures - but they have done it before, I do not see why they cannot do it again, especially if they wish to retain some relevance.

Whilst we are on the topic of the recognition of marriage - Humanist marriages are not recognised as legal in England and Wales, although they are in Scotland. - That needs changing too :)

[wildwood]

I haven't encountered my prejudice on AB so I'll say it.... I don't care if lesbians get married and believe two woman can bring up children as good as a woman/man couple, although there must be an advantage of having both sexes present in the rearing of children.

I also don't approve of homosexual males getting married and adopt children. It is probably because I am a male myself and don't feel comfortable with what two males get up to and don't believe that they can bring up children in a proper balanced way. I do recognise that one male can really love another male and I am somewhat uneasy of my feelings but, I can't help how I feel. There are plenty out there who will tell you what you want to hear but have a sly cowardly snigger when they run across homosexual males.

All love isn't the same. How I love my wife is not the same way as I love my kids or relatives.

[naomi24]

LG, //"re-interpret" their holy scriptures - but they have done it before, I do not see why they cannot do it again,//

The bible does contain some ambiguous verses on the subject, but this one is quite clear. Whichever way the church looks at it, it’s impossible to interpret it differently.

Leviticus 18:22 - Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination.

As far as the acceptance of gay marriage goes, I think the church is stymied by its own scripture.

[ludwig]

// I think the church is stymied by its own scripture. //

That's the problem all religions based on books written thousands of years ago will inevitably have. There's only so much reinterpreting and massaging of anachronistic preachings you can do, to try and maintain their relevance to modern society.

[daisya]

IMO I just think it's because for thousands of years people have been used to opposite sex coupling that it's alien to think of same sex couples in the same way. I think in the not too distant future there won't be any controversy over it at all....just takes time to get used to as far as I can see.

[Octavius]

daisya, how much time do we need?! Its no news that Egyptians, Greeks and Romans by and large accepted it happened (and anywhere inbetween now and then), and although noted in various legal cases and quotes as "uncomfortable to witness" - and men were persecuted - it was generally ignored if not openly publicised. There was enbrotherment in medieval times as well which pretty much acknowledged it, so why in this century are people still squirming over the idea?

wildwood, my view slightly differs as I have a friend raised by two dads and he is perfectly balanced and happy (but not in a gay way, ha!), so it can happen. Imbalance and broken childhoods stem more from male female partnerships, but obviously in the main that is because it is more common. That said, if you can generalise one situation then you can the other.

[beso]

Same sex marriage is not new.