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Wedding day/evening?
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I had never had this happen before until a few months ago but a woman at work, invited about 7-8 of us to her wedding but only for the reception after the actual wedding and speeches and lunch. We were there to enjoy the music, buffet and evening event. Clearly we were there to make up numbers and not for our company. But two other women in the office are getting married this year and have sent out invites for the 'evening' event! Has this always been done?
I went to a wedding back in June and I was invited to the whole day, church, speeches, dinner, dancing. I thought that was just how weddings go? I mean, either you want that guest there or you don't? If they are important enough to be at your day, surely they can witness the whole thing?
I went to a wedding back in June and I was invited to the whole day, church, speeches, dinner, dancing. I thought that was just how weddings go? I mean, either you want that guest there or you don't? If they are important enough to be at your day, surely they can witness the whole thing?
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our family have been very friendly with another family for over 20 years and their daughter got married actually on my wedding anniversary in june. I was invited to the church and evening but not the (expensive) middle bit i didnt mind at all, i was glad to be asked at all and totally understood why this was done.
i agree with EVERYONE else. I dont know if you have ever been married but its blooming expensive. The person wants you to share their day and their joy but cant afford to invite everyone to the reception. If you want to see them married, just go to the church, or ask them if you can go to the church. It is totally unexceptional for this to happen. There is nothing like "making up the numbers" - each person costs extra money!
why don't you ask if you can attend the ceremony too, as that will not cost extra?
I am sure they will be flattered that you appreciate that the point of the whole day is their union - not the food, the party, the gifts, the 'politics' of who goes to what bit... etc
like has been said, she was ''a woman from work'' so not like your best mate - look at it like this - would you buy her a meal that cost �60, just to be in her company...?
no, probably not, so why should she for you?
we all have friends that we see often and enjoy their company, but unfortunately people are expect to feed their cousins and aunties and uncles, whether they see them from one year to the next or not - and that costs a lot.
I am sure they will be flattered that you appreciate that the point of the whole day is their union - not the food, the party, the gifts, the 'politics' of who goes to what bit... etc
like has been said, she was ''a woman from work'' so not like your best mate - look at it like this - would you buy her a meal that cost �60, just to be in her company...?
no, probably not, so why should she for you?
we all have friends that we see often and enjoy their company, but unfortunately people are expect to feed their cousins and aunties and uncles, whether they see them from one year to the next or not - and that costs a lot.
Sometimes there is a limit on the amount in the church as well as costs. I have known it happen a lot. I go to a lot of weddings (yawn, I don't like them) and I would much rather just attend the evening do.
I suppose you haven't noticed it much Ruby, cos you're 21 and its probably people who you have been pretty close to whose weddings you have attended, so they in general want you there the whole day.
Like has been said to have you there for the evening do is still costing them money, just not the fortune it is for everyone else.
I suppose you haven't noticed it much Ruby, cos you're 21 and its probably people who you have been pretty close to whose weddings you have attended, so they in general want you there the whole day.
Like has been said to have you there for the evening do is still costing them money, just not the fortune it is for everyone else.
Are you a regular church goer then Rr? Perhaps the happy couple don't want to compromise people's athiest tendancies by making them feel that they need to attend a Christian Church, belt out Hymns at the top of their voices, pray to a God that they do not normaly believe in (apart from Christmas + Easter when it's time to recvieve pressies and chocolate eggs), and watch the bride and groom exchange Holy Vows!!!!
Hi Rubyrose :-)
I prefer going to the evening only as can't be bothered to sit through speeches and all that, isn't that naughty of me!
I wouldn't be offended if I was asked to evening only (unless it was by say my bezzie mate, or sibling) by someone I worked with - I think as others have said quite often people invite their very close friends and family to the whole part and friends to the evening too. I think they're so very expensive now the cost can dictate how many people they can have to the whole day as well.
Beads
nee nuoyg
I prefer going to the evening only as can't be bothered to sit through speeches and all that, isn't that naughty of me!
I wouldn't be offended if I was asked to evening only (unless it was by say my bezzie mate, or sibling) by someone I worked with - I think as others have said quite often people invite their very close friends and family to the whole part and friends to the evening too. I think they're so very expensive now the cost can dictate how many people they can have to the whole day as well.
Beads
nee nuoyg
Obviously you have never had to pay for a wedding reception.
It is usual for family and close friends to go to the church and wedding breakfast. Possibly 60/70 guests, and everyone else, which could be anything up to 200 attend the evening party.
It isnt always financialy possible to invite everyone you know to the whole day.
She has invited you all to be part of the wedding , you are work collegues,so take the invite in the spirit it is intended, and dont spoil it for her by being offended and not turnng up to the evening. She obviously wants you to be part of it, and she will be very hurt if you all dont go, and she wont even understand why.
My niece is getting married in October, and Im invited to the whole day, but my 3 daughters (her cousins) are invited with their partners just for the evening. Not one of us thinks this is unusual.
Its nomal to every wedding Ive ever attended.
It is usual for family and close friends to go to the church and wedding breakfast. Possibly 60/70 guests, and everyone else, which could be anything up to 200 attend the evening party.
It isnt always financialy possible to invite everyone you know to the whole day.
She has invited you all to be part of the wedding , you are work collegues,so take the invite in the spirit it is intended, and dont spoil it for her by being offended and not turnng up to the evening. She obviously wants you to be part of it, and she will be very hurt if you all dont go, and she wont even understand why.
My niece is getting married in October, and Im invited to the whole day, but my 3 daughters (her cousins) are invited with their partners just for the evening. Not one of us thinks this is unusual.
Its nomal to every wedding Ive ever attended.
Ok, no-one seems to be understanding me. Firstly, I already mentioned the wedding was months ago and I did go. Secondly I understand that dinner costs and can't be provided for everyone. It's the church bit I was talking about. To me THAT bit is the ACTUAL wedding because that was the moment they became husband and wife. I am not a church goer and I am a non-practising Christian but that bit of the wedding is always the bit I want to see the most. I honestly can't think of one person I know who I would invite to the 'evening' section of my wedding but not want in the church with us all when I say my vows!!!! I just find it odd.
if thats the bit you want to see and youre not wanting to then go on to the wedding breakfast then ask the bridge if you can pop into the church for the service.
Its difficult for the bride and groom to send out invites to service only as people expect to then go on to the reception with all the other guests, which could then be a little embarassing if the bride and groom have to explain.
Im sure if you ask they would love you to be at the service if theres room.
Its difficult for the bride and groom to send out invites to service only as people expect to then go on to the reception with all the other guests, which could then be a little embarassing if the bride and groom have to explain.
Im sure if you ask they would love you to be at the service if theres room.
They might only want very close friends and family at the service. Hence why the invite to the evening. They want you there to celebrate their marriage but possibly not at the vow making part which they want to keep special by just having close friends and family. (I'm not saying that is the case, it's just a suggestion).
If you want to go to the service and it's in a church then I think they're open to the general public anyway so why not just go in and stand at the back? Then just vanish when the service is over.
Or do as Red has suggested.
If you want to go to the service and it's in a church then I think they're open to the general public anyway so why not just go in and stand at the back? Then just vanish when the service is over.
Or do as Red has suggested.
This is absolutely the norm in Scotland - I have been to both all day weddings and evening do's only depending on the size of the wedding and my closeness to the wedding couple. It is also quite normal to pop along to the church/registry office to see the couple. Depending on the size of the venue, i have sometimes just gone to see them come out and get their photos done, or i have on occaision just gone to the evening do - as you said, it is then just a party, but usually a good one!
If there are a group of us, sometimes we have gone to see them come out the church - then gone for a meal ourselves before going to the party later.
Personally, I spent as much on the evening do (buffet and band etc) as I did for the main wedding as the evening do was the most important part to me. I had 50 for the day and and extra 100 in the evening. I have a large family and that is all the registry office and restaurant could hold.
If there are a group of us, sometimes we have gone to see them come out the church - then gone for a meal ourselves before going to the party later.
Personally, I spent as much on the evening do (buffet and band etc) as I did for the main wedding as the evening do was the most important part to me. I had 50 for the day and and extra 100 in the evening. I have a large family and that is all the registry office and restaurant could hold.
this happens all the time. If you were going to a party to celebrate a new home, you wouldnt expect to have to help them move in. If you were going to a party to celebrate a new child, you wouldnt expect to be there at the birth, if you were gping to a party to celebrate an engagement you wouldnt expect to be there when he got down on one knee
But bednobs, if you were going to a birthday party, you would expect to have to arrive after the cake had been cut!
Anyway, I find it weird. And I personally would cut down on the meal and even if it meant eating chip butties, as long as everyone I wanted there was there, then I don't mind at all. That's just me I guess. I don't want to make anyone feel like a Hall filler.
Anyway, I find it weird. And I personally would cut down on the meal and even if it meant eating chip butties, as long as everyone I wanted there was there, then I don't mind at all. That's just me I guess. I don't want to make anyone feel like a Hall filler.
how many times must i say this - you are not a "hall filler" - each person that is invited will cost whoever is paying more money, even for an evening do (ie they have to hire a bigger place, put more food/drink on) I bloody hope none of my friends and aquantances who i couldnt fit in the register office/couldnt afford to feed a meal, but did want to celbrate my good news with grumbled like you do. I would hate to think friends of mine were grumbling and taking offence to random strangers, and if i thought they were, i would rescind the invitation!
Gina,
It was the venue which upped the price pr head. However it was a nine course meal with free flowing shampoo.
I seem to recall it was braised beef medallions for the main course with a mushroom sauce and seasonal vegetables.
There was also Belgian waffle things for pudding. The other courses were of no importance.
It was the venue which upped the price pr head. However it was a nine course meal with free flowing shampoo.
I seem to recall it was braised beef medallions for the main course with a mushroom sauce and seasonal vegetables.
There was also Belgian waffle things for pudding. The other courses were of no importance.
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