parents that have split up who should the child live with mother or father

[shanx]

do you think that is old fashioned that children are better off with the mother whatever the mother does, it upsets me that there are so meany fathers out there that would make a better father than the mothers,and should get custody of there child

[Ice-Maiden]

The gender of the parent doesn't matter. The one who gives love, support and understanding is the one who should get custody, but since both people might provide this, yes, it can be a sad affair for good fathers.

[Doc Spock]

In 1991 I was granted custody of my 2 daughters aged then 10 and 8.

It is a question solely of the childs best interests.

I am a dad BTW.
The Childrens Act was amended in 1991 with the effect that more notice was given to the wishes of the children, if deemed they could express themselves.

[Shadow Man]

If the mother is a crack-addled wh0re, and the father a decent chap, the child will be better with the father.

However, if both are decent and score the same on whatever tests you set, I think the child should be with the mother.

Naturally, two married hetrosexual parents would be the best.

[Ice-Maiden]

No decent chap'd be with a crack-addled *****, as you put it, in the first place - but at least you've made a better point on here than over on the last thread.

[Shadow Man]

Thats odd because Bob Geldof is a fairly decent chap and that Paula bird was nothing but a heroin injected 5lut.

[Louisa 69]

In most cases it's the mothers who get custody, although in some cases i agree with what your saying. I think courts have the understanding that the children are better off with the mother. But in some cases they do get it wrong.

[shanx]

going through it at the moment with my grandson,the mother is useing him as a weapon and its heartbreaking because we all love him so much and care about him but she has the upper hand because she is his mother and in controle

[Ice-Maiden]

Wasn't that AFTER Bob?

[shanx]

think they get it wrong most of the time, and women know this hate wome that use there children as weapons, is that a good mother ? dont think so sounds like whats in it for me

[Louisa 69]

It is such a shame when one parent uses the child as a weapon against the other . That's not fair on the child a child loves both of their parents and it can be extremely distressing for a child to have to witness that.

[shanx]

we are trying our best to try and make out that everything is fine and no problem with the split, and his mother is the same in frount of him, then behind his back she is the devil

[Petal~flower]

I think in a lot of cases, the children automatically do live with their mum. And in a lot of cases also, I think the dads are quite happy with that, as they can pursue their careers without having the extra job of ferrying the kids to school and then having to find a dead end job that fits round them all.

Paula Yates was not a heroin injected sl*t.

[shanx]

he is five spock so a liitle young and lives four hours drive away , we always drive to see him whatever the cost and stay overnight at hotel and drive back next day

[Louisa 69]

A mother or father should always put the needs of the child first. No matter what they feel about each other it's what to do in the best interest of the child that counts. I sincerely hope that the situation works out for all of you.

[shanx]

thank you louisa,we are trying our best but its a long hard struggle the problem is the mother is trying to bleed us dry ,
not for our grandson but for herself ,its realey sad

[Louisa 69]

He's the same age as my wee boy. I'm in the opposite situation as yourself. My boyfriend and i at the time were trying for a baby when i fell pregnant he turned arond and told me he had changed his mind, and gave me an ultimatum it was him or the baby i aborted the boyfriend and kept the baby. His father has never had anything to do with him to this day. It's heartbreaking when this innocent little lad ask me wheres my dad. But if his father was to get in touch now asking to see him i would allow it. I couldn't print on here what i actually think of the guy but as a mother i realise that he has a right to know his father.

[Ice-Maiden]

Perhaps your son's father'll mellow with age, and be delighted to see his son one day. That doesn't help matters NOW, but all you can do is tell your son that he's loved, but his dad isn't around at the moment because things didn't work out. It's not far from the truth, yet doesn't poison the child's mind against this man.

[shanx]

sorry louisa it must be hard for you,and you should be bitter but you are not ,my son totaly adores his son and will do anything for him, but sadly the mother has a lot of issues that needs to be sorted out, but wont admit to them until she dose there is little we can do

[Louisa 69]

Don't worry Ice i would never do that. That wouldn't be fair on my son. I'm now engaged to a brilliant , kind, loving man who dotes on my son. He'll never go without love.