Suggestions please...

[incognito2]

I'm going to gift some money to a neighbor anonymously, but would like to include a bible passage. I'd very much appreciate some fitting suggestions.

Thanks.

[incognito2]

I didn't think this was going to turn into a can of worms! Truth of the matter is I have been blessed and would like to share this with someone I feel needs a little help. All I was asking is for a tactful way to do it without my neighbour feeling bad, but instead comforted knowing that there are still people out there that care etc, etc. No doubt someone will pick this apart trying to make something of it.

[keyplus90]

Inocognito - How much money are you planning to give to them?

[Ann]

Incognito - I think its a lovely kind caring gesture, I wish there were more people like you in this world. May God richly bless you in all that you do x

[boxtops]

I don't think that's our business, Keyplus.

[Ann]

I see you are a new member of AB incognito - please don't take it to heart what some have written, they often open up a new can of worms! I often feel like you do, it seems sometimes there are people who do like to strongly criticise you on here for having different views which they do not agree with. This can be very hurtful sometimes, I know as it has happened to me. You just have to ignore the comments which can be a bit harsh and take heart from those who do agree with your comments. The majority of AB users are nice kind, caring people. :)

[naomi24]

Incognito, //All I was asking is for a tactful way to do it without my neighbour feeling bad//

It’s a commendable thought, but if I were your neighbour on the receiving end of a stranger’s charity I would feel worse than bad. This ‘do-gooder’ mentality, such as Anne promotes, is sanctimonious and self-serving. It might make you feel good, but how do you know you’re not going to destroy his self-respect? Before blundering in, why not be honest and talk to him? Try to see it from his point of view. Offer your help, by all means, but don’t treat him as a charity case. That’s insulting.

Incidentally, I’m a caring person - which is why I care about his feelings.

[Ann]

Naomi - what do you mean by // this do-gooder mentality such as Ann promotes// - if you had read my first comment on page 1 you will remember I wrote "But tread warily, some people may feel embarrassed that they are in need of help"
Anyway isn't it better do "do good" in life rather than "do bad"?

[ladybirder]

>>I see you are a new member of AB incognito - please don't take it to heart what some have written, they often open up a new can of worms! I often feel like you do, it seems sometimes there are people who do like to strongly criticise you on here for having different views which they do not agree with. This can be very hurtful sometimes, I know as it has happened to me. You just have to ignore the comments which can be a bit harsh and take heart from those who do agree with your comments.<<

Your comments are never harsh of course ann. What a self pitying, self serving inappropriate post from you. Unbelievable.

[naomi24]

Ann, I mean I detest the superior attitude of the 'do-gooder' mentality. Yes it is better to do good than to do bad, but are you sure that your idea of 'doing good' is actually 'doing good'? It could be seen, at the very least, as sanctimonious and interfering. My own sense of self-respect would reject it totally - in fact I would absolutely hate it - and I'd tell my benefactor so in no uncertain terms. I'd rather scrub floors!

[ladybirder]

Incognito, entirely up to you of course but personally I wouldn't do it because I would hate it myself. Better to have a quiet word and ask if you can help and if the person accepts then fine, otherwise leave it. I commend you for your thought though. Very kind.

[Ann]

Ladybirder I am shocked at your comment about me. I did not mean this to be interpreted like this as "an inapproriate post". Have you NEVER had anyone disagree with you most strongly on here? I'm sure we all have at some time. It is quite upsetting when you struggle to hold onto your personal views and opinions to which everyone is entitled to. I try not to be cruel to anyone. In fact I said earlier "The majority of AB users are nice kind, caring people" which they are.

[naomi24]

Birdie, I think perhaps you’ve misread me. I’ve said it’s generous and I’ve said it’s commendable – and it is. However, I have tried to look at it from another angle – the recipient’s. You speak of an ‘offer’ of a monetary gift, but the donor is not offering – he’s thrusting it upon his neighbour. An offer of help is one thing, and may be gratefully received, but money arriving from an anonymous source would lead me to believe that my neighbours looked upon me as someone to be pitied – and since I’d have no idea who was responsible I’d have no way of redressing that - or of recovering my self-respect. Far better to be a true friend and offer help openly and honestly, because as well-meaning and as genuinely altruistic as such a gesture may be, it is, in fact, presumptuous and its potential impact should not be disregarded. If I were on the receiving end I’d be absolutely mortified and I’d find it very difficult to hold my head up within that community again. But perhaps that’s just me.

[anneasquith]

likewise incognito, im surprised a simple question like yours has gone so " of track " !

[mibn2cweus]

Altruism, schmaltruism. If you want to offer assistance to someone in need and you cannot do so without hiding behind a Bible verse, there's obviously something amiss here. Implying that some invisible overseer of reality has seen fit to favour you with the role of Santa Claus at the expense of the financial well-being of your neighbour is about as grand an insult as I can imagine in a time when encouragement rather then disparagement, whether or not intended is what is called for under the circumstances. If you're afraid to approach your neighbour in other than a manner representative of that reserved for a leper, rather than as an equal fellow human being who like anyone of us might have been dealt the dirty end of the proverbial stick perhaps you have your reasons, but I can't imagine how any of them could possibly be a good one, nor can I imagine an appropriate Bible passage for any occasion other than to demonstrate a profound disconnect between what it ‘teaches’ and reality. 'Tis better to give than to receive' is just plain moronic. No one can reasonably hope to provide or derive anything of real and lasting value in anything other than a mutually beneficial relationship and that might well be the message that having been previously heard and understood could have saved many of us from a lot of trouble and unnecessary heartache.

[mibn2cweus]

Birdie, Not sure which organ you had in mind but there's one organ I wouldn't half mind donating nearly half as much as less than half of those who'd like me to would like. ;o)

But cweusly . . . In some cases the act of giving provides its own rewards to the giver, especially when given to someone near and dear to you. In extreme cases, life itself might be meaningless without someone for whom you care deeply enough about.

In the case of giving to an anonymous recipient, I would hope it went to someone worthy of the gift . . . but in such cases it amounts pretty much to a cr@p shoot.

Reciprocal benefits can never be guaranteed in spite of expectation but is much more likely when the potential for realising some form of personal benefit is at stake if only for the realisation of being privileged with the ability and appreciating that which contributed to acquiring that privilege.

Oh, and by the way, the organ I[i was referring to was my brain.

[i]"Yah, right!"] ;o)

[mibn2cweus]

. . . totally screwed that one up! :o/