Atheist What Do You Say To A Dying Loved One?besides I Love You?

[goodlife]

[youngmafbog]

For some reason someone in the hospital saw fit to send a vicar over to my dad when he was dying with cancer despite the fact they were told no. Well, according to my mother who was there, it did perk my dad up for a bit as he "let him have it".

The rest of us found plenty of things to talk about, just concentrate on the good times and their interests.

[Mamyalynne]

I would say to him, there is life beyond losing the one you love.

Nine years ago that was me - if I can do it many others can, with or without a religious belief.


In answer to you original OP - from terminal diagnosis until the night he waited till I slept to die we said many things until the morphine kicked in and the breathing became laboured and all one could hear was the wheeze and the morphine pump.

[goodlife]

Well, I am glad I am not an atheist and none of my family are!! If I wasnt a JW and had to go to someone for help, I certainly would come to any of you. None of you have any useful or helpful input. You certainly wouldnt get jobs at the Samaritans or any other organisation that is supposed to be sympathetic listeners.
Its funny really, there was a report in one of the newspapers with regard to the BA plane in France that was reportedly on fire - an passenger on the plane said, "I am an atheist, but I prayed to God".
Isnt that saying something!!
Thats the end of that! I can spend my time elsewhere and get more joy than here. But I'll be back when things develop and when you're crying a bit more.

[Mamyalynne]

Well forgive me for replying, I didn't realise it was an interview for a position at the Samaritans.

When it happens to one you love deeply, you do the best you can given you know that person intimately.

[albaqwerty]

''You certainly wouldnt get jobs at the Samaritans or any other organisation that is supposed to be sympathetic listeners.''

I like how you presume to know that those who have replied are not currently or have worked for the Samaritans or any other sympathetic organisation.

That is not a Christian attitude to have imo

[gness]

I'm glad you feel you could come to any one of us in time of need, Goodlife....
I worked, successfully, with The Samaritans many years ago...probably because I'm calm.....unlike you, GL.......I accepted folk and would never have used your last sentence to any of them....that's unkind.....but then Christianity can be unkind....

I held my husband's hand as he died.....we were still laughing at the slightly naughty joke he'd made about the sign over his bed....as he took his last breath I know he heard me tell him I love him...

For me that is a fantastic memory so typical of our loving relationship over the years...
If I had started spouting about a god and a heaven he would have died unhappy and confused by my hypocrisy and insincerity......x

[jim360]

When someone needs my help seriously, they will get it seriously. I am sure people who actually know me will attest to that. But when someone is rubbing their religion in my face as an attempt to establish some sort of moral superiority, I'll treat them with all the respect they deserve, which is none.

[paddywak]

I never had a chance to say anything to my parents,despite being close when they died,one second they where both alive and going about their lives (about six years apart)and the next the were dead,just like switching the light off.

[Jackdaw33]

JWs don't believe people go to heaven, only the 144,000 who are predestined. The rest, or "other sheep" will enjoy life on earth which will be transformed into a paradise.

[woofgang]

Goodlife, your final post says quite a lot about your religious beliefs and, by extension, what you believe about your religion.....its a good job i have known other, kinder jw’s than you.....

[Patsy33]

Oh dear. Showed his true colours there didn't he? ...

[Old_Geezer]

Have a well deserved rest ? Remind them/reminisce of the interesting life that they were privileged to experience ?

[jennyjoan]

My mother died in my arms and I had to let her go as she was literally pulling away from me. A nun did say to me - you know as your mum was leaving you she was slipping into the arms of God. No not what you want to hear - but my view.

And I also was singing to her - come to think of it - maybe that's why she was pulling away from my *** awful voice LOL.

[hereIam]

If the person dying believes in God, then that is all that matters and I would act accordingly for their sake. Just being there at the end is all the dying loved one really needs, nobody should have to die alone. Sadly we go there too late for my beloved Dad, but I was there till the end with Mum and she knew that. Upset myself now ....

[Old_Geezer]

"an passenger on the plane said, "I am an atheist, but I prayed to God". "

It is my opinion that a lot of agnostics like to claim, and think of themselves as atheists. And make ridiculous arguments as to why they are supposed to be atheists whilst clearly not having the faith to be one. Your example appears to refer to one of them.

[sandyRoe]

Goodlife, have you bothered to read all the earlier answers?
Mine was brief but sincere.

[Old_Geezer]

Ah there was a 2nd question half way in. Tell your depressed friend that everything changes. Life has it's low points and contrasting highs. Life was worth living before he had met the person he was privileged to share a chunk of his life with, and still is after she died and that period came to an end. That one should hang in there taking a moment at a time, and he'll realise the truth eventually, see life is worth it still, and be able to get much out of it once more.

That stated one is likely to achieve more by listening than by telling. Perhaps guiding the conversation at most.

[Hazi-Hammenuhoth]

Goodlife, you have an attitude problem and do not show the compassion and hope which true Christianity espouses. To answer your question, I would be much more concerned to listen to what that loved one had to say to me than what I would say to them. These moments are very precious and very personal to everyone who experiences them, whatever their belief.

Peddling JW falsehoods will not get you or anyone else to heaven, but to the other place.

Perhaps consider becoming a Christian and leaving the atheists to themselves matey. I don't know what if you have Philippians in your JW library but my KJV Bible states "Work out your OWN salvation..."

[douglas9401]

How very godlike of you, Goodlife, to lash out blindly and without focus when things don't go as you want.

As the book says, let he who is without tolerance and understanding kiss my alternative cheeks.

[Eleena]

^^^ lol! So good! ;0)