Nailit: "Where have I said that I wish Christians to ignore me? Why are you making things up?" I didnt know you had said that- it just seems that you post and then wonder why you get responses. If you don't post aimed at Christians, you won't get responses from Christians. It's not rocket-science.
As for the answers to my questions, they speak for themselves. If you seek Him, you will find Him. He is waiting for you. But hey, if you wish life to carry on as it has done since you left Christianity, that's your decision. I just find it a bit sad you have been posting this anti-God stuff since 2012 and still can't find peace about it.
As for wanting to change anyone to another way of thinking, that works both ways. Your very unconvincing anti-God arguments and tragic experiences seem to point up a soul seeking after the God who you turned against, and deny existence of. I could be utterly and completely wrong, and hope I am. Have a lovely evening, and just remember- if you post things on here trying to provoke others, don't be surprised when they reply.
"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." Rev 3:20