Religious Fanatics in your home

[naomi24]

Here's one to ponder. A friend's been telling me about her sister and brother in law - Born Again Christians. She says when they come to visit, they continually talk about religion and the sister makes a habit of standing in the middle of the room, hands together, eyes closed, talking gobbledegook (speaking in tongues my friend says), whilst the brother in law stands behind her, arms raised, crying 'Praise the Lord!'. Apparently they do this on every visit. My friend and her husband have told the couple many times that they prefer to keep religion out of their home, but apart from warning them they're going to hell, the Born Again Christians ignore it. She doesn't want to fall out with them because they're her family, but she's now at her wits end and dreads them coming. How would you handle such a situation?

[boxtops]

I'd go out.
That is so difficult. We had a friend years back who used to start preaching every time he visited but in the end my then OH said, "look, you're a good mate, but if you want to stay friends, cut it out - each to their own".
Thankfully he did. It sounds as if your friend's family think somehow that she needs saving. How very difficult. The thing is - you can choose your friends, you can't choose your family - and families do fall out over such matters. She may have to bite the bullet and not invite them again, and if they ask why, tell 'em. It really does depend on her being strong enough to do it.

[LazyGun]

It would be a horrible situation to find oneself in. That having been said, the fact that the BAC have warned your friend that "they are going to hell" makes the decision easier, and that would be to cut them dead. To put up with such inconsiderate, intrusive and offensive behaviour in your own home would be intolerable, and even for kith and kin there are limits :)

I know that for some, blood is thicker than water, and family is paramount - but you can't choose your family,and I do not believe one has to tolerate unmoderated, offensive behaviour.

Sometimes you have to bite the bullet, and draw the line - I would ban them from the house, would cease talking with them until they got the message, and feel considerably relieved that I was no longer at my wits end - it would be little loss, it seems to me.

[sara3]

I wouldn't have them in my house. if they thought I was going to hell, they might as well give me some peace until I get there!

[mibn2cweus]

Open the front door and tell them, "So and so, you're welcome to stay if you like but your imaginary friends were not invited here and are not welcome here. And if you ever mention the word 'hell' again in my presence, prepare to be able to give a first hand account of what it's like to be there."

[RATTER15]

I would just have to educate them.

[ummmm]

My Mum is a born again Christian. She's hard work, seriously hard work.

[beso]

She should not be telling them that she "prefers" to keep religion out of their home but she INSISTS that they keep religion out of the home. Warn them clearly that practicing witchcraft of any kind will not be tolerated in the home and bundle them out the door the minute they start up.

Relatives who are so rude that they would perform their weirdo rituals uninvited in another person's house are no loss anyway.

Another approach is to go into a discussion about religion armed with some good quotes from the Bible.

It contains dozens fo examples of amoral behaviour.
http://www.ebonmusing...heism/atrocities.html

This is also a good one to discuss with the faithful.
http://www.ebonmusing...ism/relationship.html

[ludwig]

You'd have to insist that they stop coming. If they're so far gone and wrapped up in their own beliefs, there's not much of a relationship left to maintain anyway.
They've effectively fallen out with your friend by behaving so bizzarely and selfishly in the first place.

[naomi24]

Wiz, well, funny you should say that, because an encounter with the brother-in-law was what brought this to light. I was recently delivering a speech to a large assembly, when, in the middle of it, he shouted 'Jesus loves you'. Not only did he momentarily distract my train of thought - not a good thing when you're addressing an audience - but bearing in mind I'd just said I don't belong to any church, I actually found it insulting. I could have cheerfully knocked his block off! Fortunately I managed to maintain my dignity and finish my speech successfully, but afterwards I went over to him and quietly said that as a devout atheist, his comment wasn't appreciated. He instantly became very irate, shouting 'I'm a Christian' and I simply said 'What you are is irrelevant. Don't throw your religion at me!' In other circumstances I wouldn't have hesitated to pursue it, but on this occasion it was prudent to walk away. Subsequently, my friend called to apologise and when I saw her a day or two later she revealed the extent of the problems she has with these two. Apparently this is the third time they have upset people connected to her - and one has never spoken to them again.

Personally, family or not, I wouldn't have them in my house, and if that meant creating an irreparable rift, then so be it.

Sara, your answer made me laugh. What a good idea!

[ludwig]

Naomi, that behaviour sounds like it's moving beyond the evangelical and into the realms of borderline mental illness.
I'd steer well clear.

[sherminator]

Naomi your awesome when our shouting down christians!

what speech were you giving?

[rowanwitch]

Hire a local arena, get yourself a couple of lions and let them see how deeply you appreciate their belief and would like them to have the opportunity of a real old fashioned christian experience


Grrrrr

[RATTER15]

Rowanwitch, Just a couple of lions!! I think you underestimate the size of the problem we have.

[rowanwitch]

all a matter of pride then.... tigers as well then or maybe a couple of bears.

[naomi24]

Ludwig, I agree. I will certainly be avoiding them in future. Borderline is an understatement! They're stark raving mad!

Shermi, aww, shucks. You're making me blush. (To answer your question, that one was at a charity fundraiser - but the last of three different speeches that week, so I was a bit 'speeched out', and possibly a little edgy. Lucky for him the situation demanded restraint, because he deserved more than he got).

Rowanwitch, lions? Haaaa .... now there's a thought. :o)