Living abroad

[inamuddle1]

I've been living abroad in Spain for the last (almost) 2 years. Most things are great, I have a house I share with someone, and I have a job that pays decent wages. I have friends. My family are in the UK and my father died 1 1/2 years ago, rest his soul <3 I met a guy that I was seeing for 2 years in Spain, and now recently that has come to an end. I miss my family and my friends too, and I'm constantly romanticising about the UK, (mostly because I'm going home for Christmas) when I know the reality, everyone is still doing the same things.

I dont understand where my head is. I dont understand what I want.

I feel my health is suffering being in a different country. I have not learned Spanish yet, although I know a little it's just that bit more difficult to get the simple things in life sorted, more than it would be in the UK. I dont want to waste my life, and like the idea of studying and having opportunities... I dont have very many opportunities here, although I can travel further...

My mother thinks I made one of the best decisions ever being out here, she's super happy for me, and tells me there is nothing to come home for...

Im also getting older, still young but old enough to know better haha, but that's the problem, I dont know better... I find myself wanting a family (i think that's something to do with my age)

I dont know what the point of this post is... Just putting it out there...
I just feel like I have stuff to organise and I dont know if I have the strength and organisation to do it all. :)

There are good things about where i live. The weather. Good Job. Nice friends. Nice apartment. Opportunities to travel further and enough free time to do so. Healthier lifestyle. Suppose I need to get my head stuck into a spanish book for the duration....

[boxtops]

Now I understand why you feel as you do on your other post, with no ties - but you have a great job (not many here at the moment in the UK), good weather etc..... yes, i agree, I couldn't live somewhere that long and not speak the language. Find an ex-pat group near you which is bound to offer an English/Spanish class - that's a good place to start.

[zebo]

If you're living in a Spanish community, shopping in Spanish stores etc, the spoken language should come easily, you need to try and avoid the pitfall of living "in Britain but abroad". Put yourself into situations where you have to communicate in Spanish or at least you have to try and understand Spanish.
When we lived in Germany, we felt we had 2 heads, in Germany the UK didn't exist beyond phoning family and the reverse was true when we were in the UK for holidays. Even now, and we left over 20 years ago, if we go to Germany it doesn't feel foreign to us.

[inamuddle1]

you would be amazed how many people do live here for longer and dont speak the language... yes it's shocking!!! :) I am doing a course online, but its slow learning... Not many jobs in the UK, this is true, I have been told... I dont know... Seems there are a lot of things that I'm unsure of at the moment. Hopefully a trip home at CHristmas will help sort things out. Thanks Boxtops, you've been super understanding :)

[inamuddle1]

I make a real effort with Spanish, I have Spanish friends... And to be honest, i dont really like the whole expat thing, i rather be with Spanish people, and my friends are very patient... But it's difficult for everyone... I love living in Spain, it's such a nice country, and the weather is great, the culture is fantastic. I just dont know how long I'll keep it up for.. I never had a plan.

[zebo]

Use your Spanish friends! Tell them not to speak anything other than Spanish when you're together a couple of times a week, you'll either sink or swim!

[inamuddle1]

:) I'm just a little confused right now. It will pass... Yes my Spanish friends, its true they can help. Thanks x

[SpikeyBush]

I've worked all over the world and picked languages up easily. When you're there with nobody speaking English you pick things up fairly quick. Especially if all there is to watch on TV of a night-time is old episodes of Hill Street Blues with Dutch or Finnish subtitles. Biggest hurdle I had to overcome was cycling at speed through forests in Asia or central America. I was always sh1t scared of running over a snake and getting bitten by a nasty one. I've now settled in Ireland where this is not a problem and I can safely hurtle through the woods like my hair is on fire. Just wish it would stop raining.

[inamuddle1]

Nice!!! =) Who knows where the world will take us I suppose. Right now I want someone to tell me the future. And a nice big hug. I think I need my mammy :P

[inamuddle1]

How did you decide to go home...?

[shaneystar2]

You have to jump in at the deep end .
I married a man nearly forty years ago and went to live in his homeland .
I couldn't speak a word of the language
The best thing I did was to a get a job .Nobody there spoke English ,or very little , and the language soon fell into place although I did have help from his family .But in the public eye I had to hoof it and it was the best thing I ever did.
I'm now bilingual and so are my children.Since then we've lived in various parts of Europe and the language comes easy .You just have to try .Nobody will laugh at you for trying :)
And If they do then they're not worth bothering about !
Us Brits are infamous for expecting everyone to speak English ....when in Rome etc .

[SpikeyBush]

How did I decide to go home? I didn't. I'm as English as a tea towel with cats on it but in my travels I became attached, legally, to an Irish girl who emigrated to find work abroad in the 80's. She became homesick and when the Celtic tiger was in full swing she dragged me kicking and screaming to the Emerald isle.

[Khandro]

I really sympathise with you, there seems to be fewer Spanish people speaking English than you find in other parts of Europe, and the language, to me, sounds impenetrable; beautiful, but very hard to differentiate between one word and another. Do you have access to any very small children? - they are marvellous teachers, they speak in the simplest way, and there are no inhibitions on either side about sounding foolish.

[owdhamer]

Your priority is learning Spanish , you will be at a disadvantage till you do so, it will also occupy your mind and rid it of negative thoughts

[Brinjal]

Find a Spanish lover even if it's just longe enough to learn the language.

[Sir Alec]

To be honest, I can't imagine living anywhere but England. But.....and a big but, would I feel the same living away from home. I can understand your feelings perfectly. All I can say is, see how you feel after the Christmas visit, when you have lived in the cold and damp climate again. It has been bitterly cold here today in South Yorkshire, frost and fireworks, frightening the surrounding wildlife. Do you miss this life enough to give up your Spanish life?
My sister and her partner lived in Cuba for 6 years and they had trouble adjusting to the climate afterwards.

[piggynose]

well i sort of sympathise with you, I´ve been here 6 years now, and have more or less given up learning spanish now. every time i try to say something i´m met with the same reply como? or no entiendo. and when i get corrected all i hear are the same words i uttered. I live with a spaniard, and she useless at helping me, due to her soft voice.
maybe i am the wrong person to ask

[atalanta]

Language is best learned horizontally.
Get a Spanish boyfriend and count your blessings.

[jd_1984]

In times of anxiety or confusion I become very analytical, weighing up pro's and con's. I try, to the best of my ability to plan forward. You may be reeking from the break up of a 2 year relationship.
If it was me I would see how I felt over xmas in the UK and draw up my list, sometimes you can uncover your true feelings when you sit down alone and just thrash it out on a list??

[inamuddle1]

Thank you for all your answers... I appreciate it... I will wait and see how Christmas goes and see if I feel different. Thanks again :)