Did He Get The Job?

[marval]

A bad CV I think.


NAME:
Armando Rodriguez.

DESIRED POSITION
Reclining. Ha ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY
£185,000 a year plus stock options and a banker’s style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD
Reclining on my mum's couch.

SALARY
Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK
Any

PREFERRED HOURS
1:30 - 3:30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the local Sweepstake.

DO YOU SMOKE?
Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE
Scorpio with Libra rising.

[Hopkirk]

Probably more honest than most CVs

[tonyav]

Hang on, I don't remember sending my CV to you, marval. Or was it you that advertised that bed testing job ?.

[marval]

Yes, my bed does need testing Tony.

[tonyav]

Right, I'll be over later. does this mean that I've got the job then.

[marval]

Ok, the job is yours.

[tonyav]

On my desired salary I hope, marval ;-)

[marval]

Yes, I am feeling generous

[tonyav]

Right I'll be there in half an hour just bought a Ferrari.

[marval]

Ooh, flash car Tony.

[tonyav]

Yep, my new company car.

[Chipchopper]

That last one 'SIGN HERE' had me in pisces!

[Hopkirk]

Get your coat, Chipchopper.