I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread, so I apologise for any repetitions.
There is a Viagra-type thing for women, but you have to take it continuously for weeks and hope for something to happen.
Other people have recommended to me to just do it, even if you don't want to. The more you do it the more you want to do it, but I know how difficult that is when you really don't want to.
Read a book to get you into the mood. If 50 shades isn't your thing, try Maestra by LS Hilton.
I doubt if there is a single answer but I find if one stops doing something one previously yearned for, after a while it seems less important and enthusiasm to bother with it wanes; whereas if one is enjoying something on a regular basis one then looks forward to it and wants to/feels a need to continue to indulge. Perhaps if you encouraged yourself to try on a regular basis for a bit the old urges would return ? I stress I'm not ruling out some other factor for the lack of enthusiasm, it'd be good to try to identify if any of those exist also.
david delvin is quite well known in the industry - wrote for World medicine in the mid seventies for thos with a long long memory ( so isnt some sort of geek-freak )
A partner could learn massage. ( plenty of books on this subject) Could start with a really soothing neck/shoulder-massage, lots of lovely luxury scented oils or creams. As time goes by, the massage could be extended . . .
I have thought long & hard before putting my six-pennoth in & can only add that variety is the spice of life. Happily long gone are the days of Ram-Bam & thank you Maam, ladies like to be caressed & cosseted. Extended fore play is essential in successful love making & various playing must be performed. It is difficult for me to to put into words what is in my head but I can guarantee success with for instance *** stimulation ( & I am not talking finger here). Hope this helps.